Borderline of Madness
by Ainmosni
Summary: What exactly happened to Yukiko, Kanji, Rise, and Naoto when they were left alone with their Shadows for days on end while Souji dungeon crawled? A piece about each character and their Shadows. Hinted ChiexYosuke and KanjixNaoto. T for language.
1. Chapter 1: The True Self

Edit: I've cleaned up most of the errors in this chapter and added some little details. Persona 4 is copyrighted and used here without permission.

**Borderline of Madness, Part 1: Secret Lab **

**Chapter One: The True Self**

As she awoke from a fuzzy daze, the first sensation Naoto felt was the throbbing ache in her head. It was an ache unlike any other—an invisible hand was grasping her head, the thumb pressing at the base of her skull, two fingers drumming a painful rhythm against her temples, and the two remaining fingers through her eye sockets strumming her optic nerves.

"Invisible hand?" She was being far too metaphoric. She must have hit her head quite hard.

Naoto forced her eyes open in an attempt to take in her surroundings. Her bleary eyes fluttered open only to stare up into a blindingly bright light. Gasping in surprised pain, Naoto clamped her eyes shut, cursing the imbecile who left such a light pointing in her eyes.

"Where am I?" she mumbled, attempting to roll over onto her stomach. As she turned herself over, she felt the solid ground melt away. She let out a small cry as she crashed off an elevated area and onto a cold steel floor with a resounding thud.

Groaning in pain, Naoto tried to push herself into a sitting position. She succeeded only in slipping and banging her already throbbing head against the hard ground.

_Ooh, that looked like it hurt!_

Naoto froze upon hearing the garbled voice. Someone else was here with her. Suddenly everything came flooding back to her: the investigation. She had been trying to get herself kidnapped. Had she succeeded? Was she in the perpetrator's lair? Feeling a brief (and admittedly childish) burst of adrenaline, Naoto pushed herself onto her knees.

"Who are you?" She opened her eyes and looked in the direction she thought the voice had sounded from. Her eyes met nothing but a green-tinted wall and several computer-like panels. "Where are you?" she muttered softly.

Thinking that perhaps she had only imagined the voice (after all, head injuries could cause hallucinations, she reminded herself), Naoto blinked to clear her vision and began a preliminary visual examination of the room. There were high-tech computers, other equipment stacked on top of each other, and the entire room was tinted in a sickly shade of green. If she had not thought it so childish, Naoto would have called the room a "secret lab." It had all the cliché qualifications for being an evil scientist's laboratory…like the ones from the television shows she had enjoyed as a child (and still did, secretly). Perhaps the perpetrator was actually a scientist. If he were a man of science, it would not be impossible to reason logically with him.

Naoto rose to her feet, wobbling a few times before feeling stable enough to continue her visual investigation. She turned to look behind her and noticed the elevated table from which she must have fallen. Continuing her gaze, Naoto's eyes rested on the gleaming drills that were suspended from the ceiling. The sight of the tools made her stomach turn.

"W-what kind of place is this? Those are not standard experimental implements." Her voice echoed off the steel walls of the mostly empty room.

_I don't know. You created this. Everything here…it's all from your head._

Naoto gasped as she felt a hand rest on her shoulder. She spun around. There was no one behind her. The only thing she saw was her own looming silhouette cast on the wall.

Naoto shook her head at her own paranoia. "Get it together, Shirogane! It is just your shadow. Focus on solving this case. Focus on getting out."

"_Just your shadow?" What do you mean by "just?" _

Where was that voice coming from? It seemed to be everywhere at once. Moreover, how had it known what she was thinking? Had she spoken aloud without knowing?

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to stay calm, Naoto turned the focus back to her unknown conversationalist. "Are you the one who brought me here?"

_Hahahahahaha_. A cruel laughter shattered what courage Naoto had managed to build and she stepped backwards until her back was against a wall. _Don't you realize, Naoto-kun? We are both here because of you._

"What?" Naoto frowned. Clearly, the perpetrator was attempting to throw her off guard. She refused to be so easily distracted from her goal.

"What do you mean to do with me?" Naoto was about to ask another question, when she noticed her shadow change directions. It began to move by itself. It walked over to the table in the center of the room and knelt by a small blue hat. Naoto reached up and touched her head, realizing for the first time that her hat was gone. The shadow did not copy her movement.

Instead the silhouette reached down for the hat and stood back up placing the hat's shadow on its own head. Naoto watched in stunned silence as the shadow stood up off the floor.

"This is not possible. S-shadows are two-dimensional objects. Illusions caused by the angle of light. This…this is a dream."

_Hahahaha, always sticking to your "truth" and "facts." Haven't you ever considered that there might be something beyond the possibilities of so-called "reality?"_

The dark blob began to take a definite human form. The tar-like blackness twisted into a shape that was disturbingly familiar. Finally, the shadow stood still, facing her in a defiant stance. Its eyes were hidden by the brim of a blue hat and its body was cloaked in a lab coat several sizes too large.

_It's good to finally meet you face to face, Naoto Shirogane._ The garbled voice began to sound vaguely familiar. Like listening to her tape-recorded case notes. The same mixture of an already low voice attempting to sound even lower. Like a small boy. Like her own voice.

"You…w-who are you? What are you? What is going on?" Naoto shook her head. "This can't be real. I must have hit my head harder than I originally gathered. You are simply a type of hallucination."

_Naoto-kun, you are slacking off on your detective work. Here you have indisputable physical evidence of the truth. How can you fail to comprehend something so simple? _The shadow tipped its face up and Naoto's breath caught in her lungs. She was starring at a mirror image of herself.

"Impossible…"

_The truth…I am you. And you are me._

Naoto closed her eyes. "No, you can't…that is not possible! I-I am dreaming." She struggled to stay on her feet. "I must find a way out of here."

The doppelganger's sneer fell._ No! No, don't leave me!_

Naoto was caught off guard. "What?"

_Don't leave me all alone!_ The reflection ran over and latched its arms firmly around her waist, letting out a rather pathetic snivel.

"Are you…crying?" Naoto attempted to detach the look-alike's arms, but she could not break its grasp.

_I'm always alone. So don't go. _

Naoto frowned. What an odd little person. One second it had been mocking her, and the next, it had broken down in tears and begged her to stay. Although, something about its words haunted her deeply. Almost as if her own thoughts were being made manifest. "No. That isn't possible."

_We are always alone. _

"We?"

The doppelganger pushed Naoto away. _I've already explained it! You are me. I am you. We are the same. We are "we."_ It stomped its feet on the floor like a small child.

Naoto shook her head and crossed the room to her hat. She picked it off the floor, brushed it off, and set it on her head. Attempting to appear unfazed, she forced herself to speak in as logical a tone as possible.

"I do not have time to entertain a foolish child who thinks I will be deceived by a simple trick. Clearly, you are just a projection of some sort. This is a highly technical looking facility. However, I refuse to be taken in by this…farce. I am afraid I have an investigation to continue. I must be going." She turned toward the other side of the room. Hopefully there would be a door.

_No! Not before the body alteration procedure._

Naoto stopped abruptly. "T-the what?"

The Other Naoto skipped over to the elevated table and motioned to the drill. _We are going to make ourselves what we really want to be!_

Naoto visibly shuttered. "What? You can't mean…" What did it mean? A sex change? But how did it know that she wasn't male? Besides, cross-dressing had always suited her just fine. She didn't actually want to be a man...right?

_I know you, "Naoto." You think you've fooled everyone, don't you? But you are not, nor will you ever be, a real detective. As the charming men at the police station would say, "You don't have the balls, Naoto-kun."_

Naoto swallowed hard. "I do not know what you mean." She felt at her right side for the revolver that always she carried with her. It was unnervingly absent.

_Only real men can be detectives. Have you ever read about…or even heard about…a female detective? You are no man. You are a mere child! A mere female! No wonder we are always alone. No wonder we are never needed. Only useful for a time, and then cast aside like the garbage that we are. _The shadow gestured wildly. _But don't worry. It will all be over soon. We shall set this right. Fortune may have conspired against us at conception, but no more. We shall make our own fortune—our own truths!_

"Fortune? What are you talking about?" Naoto shook her head and sat down resting her back against the elevated table…no, the operating table. How could she have so gravely miscalculated the situation? It had seemed so simple in theory: get kidnapped, apprehend the killer, rescue self, provide the police with evidence, and bask in the satisfaction of single-handedly solving a case that had stumped an entire police force.

Or the much less interesting plan B: wait for Seta and company to come and assist her in said apprehension of the criminal, collect the necessary evidence, and alternately bask in satisfaction and sulk in disappointment over requiring assistance to complete a task that an entire police force could not.

However, she had seriously miscalculated. Miscalculated the evil illusions that the kidnapper was capable of producing. Miscalculated how much the killer knew about her. Miscalculated the time it would take Seta to even discover she was missing. Would anyone even notice that she had disappeared?

_Why would they? What are you to them? _The doppelganger spoke as if it had read her mind.

"They need me."

_Do they? They've managed fine without you this far. _

"They…they'll come." Naoto crossed her arms. "I think." She closed her eyes and tried to shut out the sound of her own voice…coming from the lips of that terrible abomination.


	2. Interlude 1: The Backside of the TV

A/N: I was listening to my epic collection of choral music the other day and this popped up. I thought it was quite fitting. It's _O Fortuna_ by Carl Orff. It is in Latin, so the translation is in parentheses by the original text. Both _O Fortuna_ and Persona 4 are copyrighted by the respective owners and are used here without permission.

Edit: I've added a few things to this chapter and subtracted a great deal of the lyrics in order to make it more readable.

**Interlude One: The Backside of the TV**

_O Fortuna, velut luna statu variabilis simper crescis aut decrescis…_

_Sors immanis et inanis, rota tu volubilis, status malus…_

_Obumbrata et velata…_

_Sors salutis…_

_Mecum omnes plangite!_

_(O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing and waning…_

_Fate—monstrous and empty, you whirling wheel, you are malevolent…_

_Shadowed and veiled…_

_Fate is against me…_

_Everyone weep with me!)_

* * *

"Yosuke, are you even listening?"

"Huh?" The boy pulled off his headphones and stared blankly at Chie. "What are you blabbing about now?"

Chie rolled her eyes. "Sheesh, you can't even bother to listen for five seconds, can you? Souji says you're going in there."

Yosuke looked from Chie to the silver-haired boy, who nodded. Yosuke flinched slightly and trained his gaze on the entrance to the creepy looking bunker. A green slime oozed out from beneath the door, and the building stood out starkly against the TV World's red and black sky. "Me? But...it looks kinda..." Yosuke struggled to find the right word. "Well…radioactive."

Yukiko stifled a giggle.

"Yosuke, I need you to come with me. I don't have any wind personas right now and I need Susana-O's Garudyne." Souji spoke calmly as he pressed on the bridge of his glasses.

"But I--"

"Quit your whining, Hanamura! The longer we stand out here doin' nothin', the less time we have to rescue Naoto!" Kanji kicked at a clump of dirt on the ground and turned to Souji. "Dammit! Why can't you just take me, Senpai?"

Yosuke smiled evilly. "I see how it is, Kanji. You want me to help you rescue your pint-sized boyfriend, right?"

"Yosuke!" Souji shook his head gravely.

Kanji stomped over to the still smug looking Yosuke, and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Listen to me, punk. We ain't got time to sit around here arguin' like this. If Senpai says he needs you in there, then you're goin'. An' you're gonna rescue Naoto and bring his stupid ass back here so that I can kick it." Kanji released Yosuke roughly. "God dammit! How can such a smart kid be such an idiot? Usin' himself as bait? What a dumbass!"

Yosuke adjusted his collar and said nothing, choosing not to point out that Kanji hadn't denied the accusation. Souji was right. Now was not the time for that. Naoto was an arrogant, socially lacking, intellectually overpowering dude who still looked like he was about 12 years old, but that didn't matter. Bad things happened to people who stayed in the TV too long. Like Mayumi Yamano. Like Saki-senpai. Poor Saki. Yosuke couldn't let anyone end up like that again…not even fun-destroying, mood-killing detective princes. They had to go save Naoto.

"Yukiko, Chie, Yosuke, let's go!" Souji's commanding tone snapped Yosuke out of his thoughts.

"Right." Yosuke nodded and joined his friends near the still oozing entrance. He eyed the green slime suspiciously.

"Rise, keep an eye out for enemies. Teddy, be ready to come in with Kanji if we need back up. Kanji, hang tight...I'm going to need you to fight Naoto's Shadow." Souji was in his "heroic leader rescue mode" now, so there was no need to mention anything about the bubbling goo…right?

Yosuke slipped his headphones back on and carefully stepped over the slime as they walked toward into the bunker.

His music resumed where he'd left off: _Sors immanis et inanis, rota tu volubilis, status malus..._


	3. Chapter 2: A Corner of Memories

Edit: I've made a few small additions to detail and fixed some typos and other errors. Persona 4 is copyrighted by Atlus and is used here without permission.

**Borderline of Madness, Part 1: Secret Lab **

**Chapter Two: A Corner of Memories**

"I demand that you tell me how to open this door, right now!" Naoto's voice broke with emotion. She was close to panicking. Or throwing a temper tantrum. Perhaps both.

The door to her sickly-green prison was, like everything else in the room, highly technological. There was a keypad that required a password to the side of the door. Naoto had systematically tried every combination of numbers she could think of, but even her logical mind had its limits, especially in a situation of such great duress.

_Why do you want to leave me? Why do people always go? I don't want to be alone anymore._

Naoto glanced over her shoulder at the lab coat clad figure. "I don't understand why you keep saying that. You are obviously the perpetrator speaking through some sort of hologram image meant to disturb me by the similarity to myself, but I don't understand your motive in speaking like this."

The Shadow stomped its foot and gave an irate shriek. _What is so difficult for you to understand? We are one and the same. I am you. Won't you just accept that?_

Naoto watched as the doppelganger reached into one of its large pockets and retrieved a screwdriver. It began to tinker with some of the bolts on the side of the ominous drill above the operating table.

"What you are saying makes absolutely no sense. Why would I accept the words of something that isn't even real?" Naoto shook her head and returned her attention to the door, attempting to convince herself that what had said was true. She froze as she felt two arms slide around her shoulders. Her double leaned in and whispered in her ear:

_Do you remember that day when they left you? Your parents? The day they waved goodbye and hopped into the car. That same car that was found latter that day smashed and twisted on the side of the road. They were the first people to ever abandon you. They left you all alone._

Naoto pushed her Shadow away. "Don't touch me!" Its words hurt. She hated thinking about the day her parents died. How dare this…this counterfeit bring up that day? Come to think of it, how did it even know about that day?

_I know everything about you, __Naoto__-__kun__. I know that after your parents died, you decided to take up the mantle as a detecti__ve__. But being only fi__ve__ years old, it was impossible. So you buried yourself amongst the books in Grandfather's library. Day after day, book after book. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Agatha Christie, __Dashiell__ Hammett: their fictional detectives left you eager to enter your parents' world. You watched detecti__ve__ movies and idolized characters like Humphrey Bogart and Sam Spade._

Naoto blinked, considering for a split second that perhaps this reflection really was part of her. It knew things that she had never told any other person. But that was just ridiculous. It just wasn't logical. "You can't be me. Fission of the mind into two separate personas is not possible!"

The double shrugged. _Sometimes you ha__ve__ to take life as it comes, __Nao__-__chan_.

"Don't call me that!" Naoto spat, briefly loosing her composure. The only person who she allowed to call her that was her grandfather.

_He abandoned us to, you know. ._

"That…that is simply not true. He is simply in America, working on an important case. It has nothing to do with abandoning me." Naoto turned away, attempting to hide her own doubt.

_Then why is it that every night we are alone in that big, creaky old estate? He isn't there for us. No one is. No one ever has been. You remember school, don't you?_

Naoto shuddered at the thought. She'd spent her pre-teen years at a private boarding school. It had been absolute misery. She'd done her best to forget those horrible years spent in what she believed to be the very personification of hell.

_All our classmates hated us for being smarter than they were; for being better than they were. And they hated us for knowing it. They called us names and they made us cry. If we weren't alone we were being teased. Mocked. Tormented._

Naoto sank the ground, cradling her knees to her chest. The double's words had cut down to her very core. It was all she could do not to cry. The box of memories she had locked long ago had been pried open. Everything came flooding out.

"I would sit in the class room and read books because no one wanted to play with me. The other students…they would steal my books and make fun of me. They called me 'Webster' because I had a large vocabulary—as if that is a bad thing!—and kicked my chair. I became very adept at removing spitballs from my hair and retrieving my possessions from wherever my classmates had hidden them." Naoto blinked quickly in an attempt not to cry. "I learned that trusting others is foolish. I became a detached observer. Being alone was the only way to survive. Friends are needless complications that will only betray you in the end."

_But you did make one friend. Remember?_

Naoto's eyes clouded and she hastily swiped her hand across them. "Sherlock. He was the only friend I had at school. I got him when he was just a puppy. And then those boys…one day when I was on a walk, they knocked me over and started beating Sherlock with sticks and throwing rocks. I yelled for them to stop it. When they did not, I punched one of them in the face as hard as I could. I had never been one to stand up for myself, so I think they were initially surprised. The other boys watched their leader fall to the ground with his lip gushing blood…and they attacked me. I was beaten quite badly, for they far surpassed me in number, strength, and size. Then they…they killed Sherlock and…and…"

_They threw you in the dumpster. Just like everyone does when they're finished with you. When they're finished with **us**._

Naoto laid her head on her knees, her body shaking with sobs. "Stop it! It isn't like that." Her denial sounded so forced. What was this thing? This double? How could it possibly know?

_In that dumpster, cradling that lifeless puppy, you decided that the only way to get respect was to become the ideal detective male. So you quit school and joined Grandfather in his private detective agency._

"Shut up!" Naoto yelled, her attempt at composure completely forgotten. "You don't know anything about me!"

The double began to laugh, and suddenly its voice grew louder. **_No matter how many cases I solved…I was still nothing. People call me the "Detective Prince," but not one of them cares what happens to me. All I have to do is solve their problems and then I am completely useless!_** The Shadow towered over Naoto its eyes glowing an eerie yellow. A dark cloud began to swirl about its feet. **_You know exactly what I am talking about, right _****_Naoto_****_-_****_kun_****_? I am you after all._**

"That…that isn't true! You're not—"

INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT

An alarm blared, cutting Naoto's words short. The double stopped glowing and raced over to the control panel.

_What is this? Not those miserable louts._ The double began frantically pressing buttons. _They will not find this place. I will make sure of that. No one can ever get close to us!_

Naoto looked up at the screen. Sure enough, there were four figures standing in the middle of a bunker that looked quite similar to the room in which she herself was. Steel walls and floor, eerie green lighting, computer panels…

"They…they're coming for me!" She was overjoyed. She had begun to doubt Seta and his team…and perhaps her own worth. Perhaps, she had thought, she was not worth their effort. What exactly had she done to deserve their help? Called them imbeciles and spiked their drinks at the club in an attempt to loosen them up. However, they had just fed her that nonsense about "personas" and "shadows" and…

Naoto glanced at her double, her eyes growing wide. "Shadows…they were…telling the truth?"

_You cannot rely on anything they say. They'll betray you before you can even bat an eye. Or perhaps they'll use you to solve the case. The do need a party member with a brain after all. But, they will just throw you away when all of this is over. It is best to let them die before then. Don't worry. They'll never find us._

Naoto stood angrily, "But I want to go with them!"

_No, we have yet to complete the body alterations. _

Naoto glanced back at the operating table and flinched. "No. They will make it. I have seen them rescue every single missing person. Yukiko Amagi, Kanji Tatsumi, and Rise Kujikawa all survived. My deductions lead me to believe that it was Seta who saved all of them. He will find me too."

Naoto turned her back on her double and sat down near the center of the room in clear view of the only door. Seta and his friends would find her. Maybe then someone could explain what was going on.


	4. Interlude 2: Reach Out for the Truth

A/N: I've decided to put an interlude in between the chapters (at least some of them). I realize that the previous interlude was a bit lengthy…and, well, Latin. This time I've made the Interlude much more about story and much less about lyrics, which should make it easier to read. Lyrics here are from _The Mindmaker_, by Soilwork.

Edit: I've fixed errors and added details. Soilwork and Persona 4 are both copyrighted by their respective owners and are used here without permission.

**Borderline of Madness, Part 1: Secret Lab **

**Interlude Two: Reach Out for the Truth**

_The search for truth's just moving on  
Everybody wants a piece,  
Denying the sound of their restless song…  
Escaping reality won't set your judgment free._

Yosuke moved his feet to the steady beat pounding from his headphones as he followed Souji through the green hallways of Naoto's shadow bunker.

Souji paused before a large door and turned to look at the party. Yosuke pulled his headphones off and placed them around his neck.

"Rise says there's a strong shadow just through this door."

"Is it Naoto-kun?" Yukiko asked softly.

Souji shook his head. "No, Rise says she doesn't sense Naoto on this floor."

Yosuke nodded. "Alright then. Let's go kick this thing's ass!"

"Um…Yukiko, could you heal us up?" Chie spoke softly as she leaned against the wall. She was holding her arm and breathing hard.

"Of course." Yukiko nodded, closed her eyes, summoned Amaterasu, and cast Mediarama.

Yosuke felt the soft heat rush over his body, soothing his pain and closing his wounds.

Souji nodded. "Thanks, Yukiko."

"Alright, let's do this!" Chie pumped her arm into the air, fully recovered.

Yosuke chuckled to himself. She had been uncharacteristically quiet for a while. They all had. They had all been hurting. The lesser shadows that they had faced thus far had been drastically stronger than any they'd faced in Void Quest. If Chie had been quiet, she must have been hurting pretty badly. Why hadn't she said anything? She was ok now, right? Should he say something or would that just make him look stupid?

_Stop thinking about Chie and focus on the battle!_

"Shut up, Susano-O." Yosuke thought, cursing his Persona for knowing exactly how he felt at all times…and feeling the need to voice his opinions constantly.

"Yosuke?" Chie waved a hand in front of his face. "Earth to Yosuke."

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Spacing out." Yosuke flashed a wide, sheepish grin and turned to face Souji so that Chie wouldn't see him blush.

"Right. Let's go, guys." Souji turned to the door and produced the keycard they had found on a lesser shadow from his pocket. He slid it over a scanner to the side of the door. There was a hiss as the airlock released.

The door opened to reveal a giant red robot wielding a rather large and nasty looking sword.

Chie gasped. "Holy shit, it's Optimus Prime."

"It looks like a toy!" Yosuke laughed as he slid his headphones on. "What kind of shit is going on in Naoto's head?"

The group ran into the room and surrounded the robot.

"INTRUDER DETECTED WITHIN THE RESEARCH AREA. ELIMINATION PROCEEDING." A grinding monotone voice greeted them.

"Is this thing for real?" Chie laughed. "It looks like it's made of plastic."

Yukiko grinned demonically. "I'm going to melt its dopey looking face off!"

Souji grimaced, "Wait, Yukiko—"

But it was too late. Yukiko's slightly crazy pyro side had taken over, and there was no reasoning with her. Amaterasu appeared and fired Agidyne at the robot.

Quicker than anyone in the party thought possible, the robot moved its sword and deflected the attack.

"Yukiko!" Chie whined.

"Whoops. I got a little carried a—"

Before Yukiko could finish speaking, the robot retaliated, sending its sword down in a giant sweep. Yukiko went flying backwards, knocked over by the sheer force of the blow.

"Focus! This one's really strong!" Rise spoke to them all through Himiko.

"Really, Rise? I never would have been able to guess." Yukiko said curtly through clenched teeth. They could almost hear Rise's pout.

Chie rushed over and helped her fallen friend to her feet. "Don't do stuff without thinking, Yukiko!"

The raven-haired girl just stared at Chie in disbelief.

Realizing the hypocrisy of her statement, Chie bit her lip and chuckled awkwardly. "Well…never mind."

The two turned their attention back to the battle.

"Grimekala!" Souji cried as he summoned the obese shadow elephant persona and used Mighty Swing. The attack connected and the Machine staggered back.

Yosuke watched all of this from the corner of his eye. He was focused on the Machine. He moved his feet to the beat of his music: _I put my trust in a prominent machine. Feel no pain and don't you dare to make a scene_.

The enemy used Power Charge, and during this break in the fight, Yosuke saw his chance.

"Go Susano-O!" He summoned his flame-haired persona and fired Garudyne. It slammed into the Machine and took quite a chunk of health out.

"Sheesh, this thing sure has a lot of health for a toy!" Chie said as she summoned Suzuka Gogen for a Bufula attack.

* * *

While the battle with the Dominating Machine raged on in the bunker, Kanji paced circles around the entrance.

"I should be in there!" He yelled at Rise who was standing just inside the door with her Persona analyzing the battle.

"Quiet, Kanji. You'll make her mess up!" Teddie said, looking up from the drawing he was making in the dirt with his claws.

"But…but Naoto! He…I need to tell him somethin'." Kanji kicked at the ground. "Damn that kid! How could he do somethin' like this?"

"What do you need to tell him, Kanji?" Teddie stood and joined Kanji in his pacing, the dirt drawing completely forgotten. "Oh, is it like what Yosuke said?"

Kanji stopped pacing and clenched his fists. "What did Yosuke say?"

"He said that you and Naoto were 'butt buddies'." Teddie paused. "Um…what's a 'butt buddy,' Kanji?"

Kanji however, had turned a very bright shade of red. "It ain't like that. Ain't like that at all!" He turned around and grabbed Teddie's shoulders. "Naoto doesn't even talk to me. I mean…I'd like him to…but I...dammit, Yosuke!"

"Kanji, you're hurting me!"

Kanji looked down and realized that he had twisted Teddie's fur in his agitation. "Oh…uh…sorry." Kanji released Teddie and resumed pacing.

He still wasn't quite sure what it was about Naoto that made him feel…well he wasn't even sure what he felt. His Shadow had been quite insistent that he "vastly preferred men"…but then why had he gotten a nosebleed on the school camping trip upon seeing the girls in their swimsuits?

_Kid, you keep thinkin' like this and your head is gonna explode._ Take-Mikazuchi's familiar growl echoed through Kanji's mind.

"Awesome job, Senpai! You won!" Rise squealed from the entrance. She emerged, her Persona no longer summoned. "They're coming back now. They're all drained."

Kanji nodded, grateful for any excuse to not think about that stuff anymore.

Shortly the entire party appeared in a flash of Goho-M generated light. Everyone looked pretty battered and tired.

"That's enough for today." Souji said quietly.

"That Robot was nuts!" Yukiko sat down on the ground and fanned herself absentmindedly with her fan.

Yosuke flopped onto the ground as well. "Thank god."

"Yeah, I don't know how much more I can take today." Chie sat down next to Yosuke. Her hand brushed against his, and they both jerked away from each other in surprise.

"I…that wasn't"

"Err…sorry"

Yukiko shook her head and chuckled softly.

Kanji didn't even notice the awkward interaction between Yosuke and Chie. He was desperately pleading with Souji. "Senpai, you can't mean that! I mean, we've gotta rescue him! I mean, it took us so long to find him, you know?"

"Kanji, I can't. I'm completely drained."

"But I ain't! I haven't even used my Persona today!" Kanji was practically shouting.

"I know. But none of us can do this alone. We're a team, remember?"

Kanji nodded slowly as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Tomorrow. We'll get him tomorrow, Kanji. And you're coming with me. I promise." Souji took off his glasses and used his shirttail to clean them.

"Humph. Alright. But I ain't leavin' without usin' my Persona." Kanji turned to Yosuke and narrowed his eyes. "So, Yosuke-senpai, I heard that you've been telling Teddie how much you wish I would beat the shit out of you."

Yosuke looked confused. "Huh?"

Kanji summoned Take-Mikazuchi. "So, I thought I'd oblige ya."

Yosuke's confusion turned to fear. "Hey, Ted, w-what did you tell him?"

Teddie smiled. "Just that you thought he and Naoto were 'butt buddies.'"

Yukiko stifled a giggle, "Snrk. Butt buddies…"

Chie shook her head and sighed, "Are you an idiot, Yosuke?"

Souji face-palmed. "I am not a part of this."

"Oh shit. I'm going to die, aren't I?" Yosuke asked Chie.

"Yeah. Pretty much." Chie patted him on the head and dragged herself and Yukiko to their feet. "Come on Yukiko; let's let Kanji give Yosuke what he asked for."


	5. Chapter 3: Borderline of Madness

A/N: I use actual dialogue from the game in this chapter. It's not quite canon because I add in more movement and internalized Naoto/Shadow talk, however, other than that it's identical. Persona 4 is copyrighted, and I do not own it. So don't sue me. I am but a poor college student, and if you do sue, I may have to pull an Adachi and jump through a TV. Anyway, enjoy.

Edit: Just tightened a few things up and fixed grammar issues.

Edit 2: Added a poem that fits nicely--I Am, by John Clare.

**Borderline of Madness, Part 1: Secret Lab **

**Chapter Three: Borderline of Madness**

**

* * *

**_I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,_

_My friends forsake me like a memory lost;_

_I am the self-consumer of my woes,_

_They rise and vanish in oblivous host,_

_Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost;_

_And yet I am, and live with shadows toast  
_

_

* * *

_Naoto lay on her back in the lab, her eyes squeezed shut. It had certainly been an interesting day…two days…week? How long had she even been there? She hadn't gotten terribly hungry or thirsty so it couldn't have been that long.

"But then again, applying logic to a place like this really is pointless." She thought.

_So you have finally decided to accept that you are not in a "normal" situation?_

Naoto looked up to see her double leering over her. "How do you do that? How can you hear what I'm thinking?"

The Shadow rolled its eyes. _Naoto-kun, how many times must I explain this simple fact to you? You and I are—_

INTRUDER DETECTED ON THIS FLOOR. DEPLOYING ENHANCED SECURITY.

A loud alarm blared and the double rushed over to the computer console.

_So they've managed to get this far. Very well. Let us see how you deal with these! _The duplicate laughed maniacally and pressed a button.

Naoto staggered to her feet in rage. "Do you think you are some sort of super villain? Are you that much of a twisted freak?!" She spoke so violently that she spit a little. "How dare you act like this with my countenance! You are a disgrace!"

The double crumpled at Naoto's feet and began sobbing.

Once again, Naoto was taken a back. "What are you?"

The double continued to sob, rubbing the oversized sleeves of the lab coat over its eyes. _I'm nothing but a waste of space. A simple child who cannot achieve anything. A weakling girl. I'll never be accepted as I really am. _

Feeling a deep sense of sympathy, Naoto knelt down by the Shadow and shakily placed a hand on its shoulder. "You don't need to cry."

The doppelganger shook her off and stormed towards the operating table. _Don't need to cry? Just like you didn't, Naoto-kun? That day you threw away your girls uniform forever and donned the clothes of a man? _The double glanced down and tugged at the banana yellow tie around its neck. _Complete with a nice silk tie. That is impressive._

Naoto walked toward the table. "Why do you know all of this? Are you also a detective?" She desperately hoped that her double would not confirm her fear that Yukiko's drunken ramblings about "personas" and "shadows" had actually been the truth.

The Shadow's eyes glistened. _Someday I'm going to be the most hard-boiled detective in the whole world! They'll write books about me. And movies. I'll be much more than a Detective Prince! I'll be the KING!_

Naoto's eyes widened. "This can't be happening. You simply cannot actually be me. I mean…" She struggled to find any piece of evidence to the contrary. "I've never wanted to be famous." Oh what a lie. What a horrible lie.

_Haven't you though? That day that you told your grandpa, "I'm going to be a detective." And secretly started working on his cases? You did that for fame, right?_

Naoto turned away. "This is ridiculous!"

Just then, the airlocks on the door released and the metal shifted open.

Seta came running in closely followed by the rest of his group. It was all Naoto could do to keep herself from turning to her double and saying, "HA! I told you!"

"Naoto!" The tall guy with the bleached blonde hair—Kanji Tatsumi—yelled.

Naoto turned to face them. "Ah. It's about time you arrived." Attempting nonchalance, she spoke as bravely as she could, "Dealing with this child has been quite a pain." She turned to walk towards the group.

Her double shrieked. "No! No, no, don't go!"

Naoto was shaken. The entire time she had been conversing with this apparition, it had never actually spoken. She realized that everything it had said before had been _inside her head_. What in the world was going on? No matter. It was time to go.

"It's useless speaking with you. I need to go back now…"

"Why? Why're you leaving me here!? Why am I always left alone!?" The look-alike sniffed and began crying again. "It's so lonely…I don't want to be alone!"

"Naoto-kun…"

Naoto heard the black-haired girl—Yukiko Amagi—sigh sympathetically. She couldn't honestly think that that abomination was her, could she? Attempting to control her anger, Naoto turned on her Shadow.

"You wear the same face as me…It's as if you're implying we're one and the same." Naoto gestured wildly. "But the difference between me and you is…"

The double abruptly stopped crying. "Why delude yourself? I am you." Its voice had changed from a scared child to a fearsome contralto. "These childish gestures are no mere affectation…They're the truth."

It began pacing back and forth in front of the table. "The fools all say it, don't they…? 'You're only a child, 'Keep out of our business, kid,' and so forth." The double stopped abruptly. "No matter how many cases you spend hours cogitating over, no matter how many crimes you solve, you're a child in their eyes. It's your brain they're interested in. The grey matter locked up in that skull. As long as they need it, you're an ace detective! But once you're done, it's back to the playpen with you."

The Shadow walked up to Naoto and pushed the brim of her hat down over her eyes. "You haven't the means to deal with society's two-faced nature. You're just a lonely child."

"Naoto…" The boy with the headphones—Yosuke Hanamura—spoke softly (which was a first from what Naoto had seen). Naoto however was in no mood for sympathy. She pushed the brim of her hat back up and glared at her double.

It crumpled beneath her glare and began to cry again. "I wanna be a grown-up…I wanna be a big boy right now! Then they'll see who I am…" It blew its nose on the overly large sleeve. "I…I want a reason for me to stay…"

Naoto sighed in frustration. Would these mood swings never end? "That's enough. I can find my own reason for living."

The reflection abruptly stopped crying again and laughed. "I'm telling you that's impossible. You are but a child. How can you change this essential truth?"

Naoto shook her head. "S-Stop it!"

"At your core you admire the sort of 'strong' and 'cool' men who populate detective fiction. But in trying to emulate them, you must know that in truth, you're nothing of the sort—you're a child. There's no avoiding first principles…Admit you're a child, and admit there's nothing you can do about it."

Her mirror image turned toward the operation table and fiddled with something. "Now then! Our analysis is complete. Let us begin the body alteration procedure. You have no objections, do you, 'Naoto' Shirogane?"

Naoto tensed. This thing was getting dangerously close to revealing far more than she was comfortable with in front of Seta and the others. "Stop it!"

Naoto saw a glimmer in the double's eyes. _Ohho, so they don't know? _Its voice rang out in her head. "Don't you dare!" Naoto urged the evil reflection to stay silent. But it was far from obedient.

The double waltzed over to Naoto, and spoke in a dramatic voice. "Naoto…such a cool, manly name! But a name doesn't change the truth. It doesn't let you cross the barrier between the sexes. How could you become an ideal man when you were never male to begin with…?"

And there it was. Naoto heard a collective gasp behind her. "Fantastic. Now they'll think I'm a freak too."

_Of course they will. It's how it always goes._

"Wait, what?? Did he…did I hear that right?!?" Hanamura exclaimed loudly (back to his usual mode of speaking, Naoto noted).

"H-He's not a guy!?" Tatsumi's voice was shaky.

Naoto was seething. She wanted to beat that stupid look-alike to the ground and stomp on it until it lay still. She wanted to throw over the table and dismantle the lab. She…she needed to take a really, really deep breath and get a hold of herself.

"I won't throw a tantrum…that accomplishes nothing!" She muttered, attempting to stay in control.

The double laughed evilly. "How often I've heard those words from the adults. 'Throwing a tantrum won't solve anything, Naoto-kun,' and other such bilge. They made you cry, didn't they? Yet here you are, mimicking those same men. What exactly are you trying to justify?"

Naoto was caught off guard. She was the victim here…why was she being so brutally questioned? "What?"

The double put both of its hands on each of Naoto's shoulders. "It's all right. You needn't suffer anymore. That's why you're undergoing this body alteration procedure to begin with. You throw a tantrum, but it fails to change the situation a single bit…I can quite understand the feeling. After all…I am you."

Naoto violently pushed the double away and screamed, completely loosing control. "That's not true!!"

A girl with short sandy hair stepped forward. "No, don't say it."

Tatsumi put out an arm and held the girl back. "It's okay…let the kid spill the whole thing. If not, Naoto's gonna just keep hurtin'. We'll just do our job and kick the Shadow's ass. Yeah?"

Naoto was momentarily touched by this kind sentiment (also a little confused…what did he mean by "kick the Shadow's ass"? You couldn't actually kick a shadow…right?) The moment didn't last long though. Her double began laughing and glowing dark.

"As if you know anything about me! You'll kick my ass, huh? Fine…Go ahead and try, you lizard-brained imbecile!!" The Shadow shouted and then became engulfed in black flame.

Naoto felt her entire mind blank out. As she fell to the ground and just before her vision went completely black, she saw some sort of cyborg fly into the air.

"What is...going...on..." The world went dark.


	6. Interlude 3: I'll Face Myself

A/N: Naoto's arc is drawing to a close, so that means that it's time for a boss fight!

Edit: This battle was far too brief. I was initially afraid of it dragging, but it actually was too short. I've fleshed it out quite a bit. Persona is copyrighted by Atlus and used here without permission.

**Borderline of Madness, Part 1: Secret Lab **

**Interlude Three: I'll Face Myself**

Kanji watched, transfixed as Naoto's Shadow twisted and writhed. He'd seen this transformation process before with Rise's Shadow, but this was somehow very different. And it involved much less moaning, for which Kanji was eternally grateful.

"This thing'd said 'feast your eyes…'" Kanji shuddered. Just finding out that Naoto was actually a girl was enough of a twist for one day.

_Get your head out of your ass, kid! Stop thinking and start fighting!_ Take-Mikazuchi growled roughly.

"Right." Kanji gripped his iron plate a little tighter as he attempted to clear any thoughts of Naoto (Shadow or otherwise) yelling sexual remarks at him.

The Shadow had finally stopped transforming and the dark cloud around the figure cleared to reveal a half-robotic Naoto floating above their heads. The robot Naoto had wings and what looked to be booster boots keeping her afloat. It was wielding two large ray gun-looking weapons.

Kanji looked to the side of the room and saw the real Naoto fall to the ground. He resisted the urge to run to her side and turned his attention back to the Shadow.

"Get ready, here it comes." Rise's voice echoed through Kanji's head.

He looked to his right and nodded to Souji, Yosuke, and Yukiko. "Let's do this!"

The Shadow glared down at the party, twirling the guns. "What? Are you sick of yourselves too? Very well…then let us begin the special operation."

"Bring it on, man! I'll pull you through this!" Kanji yelled up to the Shadow.

The twisted cyborg version of Naoto sneered at him. "Have you made up your mind? Then let us commence."

Yosuke went first, the beat of his music guiding his first strike. "Garudyne!" Susano-O appeared and fired a violent blast of wind at the robot. The attack connected, however it didn't seem to phase it.

Souji went next, summoning Black Frost for a Mind Charge. Then Yukiko summoned Amaterasu and blasted Naoto's shadow with Agidyne.

Now it was Kanji's turn. "Come here, Take-Mikazuchi!" Kanji summoned his persona and felt energy surge through his body as he cast Zionga at the Naoto-bot. The attack connected and it seemed to make the Shadow flinch ever so slightly. Perhaps that was just wishful thinking.

The Shadow smirked. "Are you quite finished?" Its eyes gleamed as it raised a ray gun and fired it at Yosuke. "Mute Ray!"

Yosuke doubled over in pain. He tried to speak, but no words came out of his mouth.

"The hell?" Kanji stared at Yosuke as he attempted to summon Susano-O. The persona never appeared.

The Shadow laughed evilly. "Ah, peace and quite at last." It twirled the gun. "Such a useful little attack to use on obnoxious persons."

"Yosuke-senpai's been silenced!" Rise's voice sounded through Kanji's head.

Souji frowned and summoned Black Frost for a charged up Bufula. The attack sent the Shadow flying against the opposite wall.

Kanji watched, expecting it to fall to the ground. The Shadow, however, regained altitude and went speeding towards Souji.

"Brave Blade!"

The Shadow charged into Souji, knocking him to the ground. The force of the blow sent him skidding across the lab floor and into the adjacent wall. He coughed blood, badly injured.

"Souji-kun!"

"Senpai!"

"…!"

The Shadow chuckled at their distraction. "It is unwise to let your focus wander in battle."

Kanji looked up at the Shadow, surprised to see it staring at him.

"Garudyne!" The Shadow sent fourth a powerful blast of wind.

_Move, dammit!_ Take-Mikazuchi's growl was slightly higher-pitched. _Move, asshole! MOVE!_ His persona was terrified. With good reason. Wind was bad. Real bad.

Kanji attempted to use his iron plate as a shield, but the blast was too powerful. He was hit, and fell to one knee.

"Man, that did not feel good."

_You're useless if its got wind! _

"Aw, shut up and man up, Take-Mikazuchi. We can take it."

Kanji struggled back to his feet, attempting to drown out the growling complaints in his head.

Naoto's Shadow used the break in battle as an opportunity to charge up. "Heat Riser!"

"That ain't good." Kanji looked at Yosuke, who was desperately trying to summon Susano-O to nullify the Shadow's boost, but the mute ray was still in effect.

Yukiko meanwhile had rushed to Souji's side and quickly healed him. "Souji-kun, are you alright?"

Souji nodded and accepted her hand as she helped him to his feet. He rushed back over to the Shadow and drew a shining blue card from thin air. "Genbu!" He crushed the card in his hand, summoning a dragon-like figure.

"Dekaja!" The spell connected and nullified the Shadow's power up.

Kanji noted that cyborg-Naoto looked more than a little miffed she hadn't anticipated Souji's wild-card ability.

_But it knows now. Watch that!_ The growling seemed resigned to fighting now.

Kanji nodded and kept his eyes trained on the Shadow, trying really hard to ignore how much it resembled Naoto.

The Shadow glared down at each member of the party and settled on Yukiko.

"Bufudyne!"

Yukiko visibly flinched and fell to her knees as the attack connected.

"Careful guys, I think this shadow knows all the -dyne attacks…and I think it knows your weaknesses. In other words, it thinks like Naoto. Don't try to outsmart it," Rise carefully advised.

Kanji shook his head. "Of course it thinks like Naoto. It IS Naoto."

Yosuke meanwhile had decided that summoning his persona was futile. He'd adopted Plan B: slice Shadow to pieces with knives.

He ran under the Shadow to the opposite wall and jumped up. He kicked his feet forward and pushed off the wall. This gave him enough altitude to take a swipe at the Shadow with his knives. Somehow, his attack connected, and he sliced a gash across the Shadow's back and shoulder.

Unfortunately, Yosuke's planning had only extended to getting up to the Shadow, not landing after hitting it. He crashed to the ground with a painful sounding thud.

"…!!!" His mouth was open in a scream, but no sound came out.

Yosuke's attack, however, had made the Shadow drop several feet.

_There! It's down low. Hit it! Go! _Take-Mikazuchi's rough growl prompted Kanji.

Kanji took the advice, summoned his persona, and attacked. "Mighty Swing!"

Kanji felt his persona's power behind the attack, and he sent his iron plate into the Shadow's head. The plate clanged as it connected with the Shadow, and a second clang rang out as robo-Naoto crashed to the ground.

"Hah! Got it!" Kanji raised a fist in the air.

_This ain't over yet, kid!_

The Shadow staggered to its feet. It wiped its mouth, as if to clear it of blood. "No, no. That will never do. Patients must lie still for me to drill proper holes in them." It chuckled and then jumped into the air again, its booster boots reactivated.

"…aww now what?" Yosuke croaked. Then a smile spread over his face. "Hey, my voice. Yeah! Let's go Susano-O!" But just as he summoned his persona, the Shadow fired its gun.

"Mute Ray!"

The attack hit and Yosuke was once again silenced. His mouth was moving in the shape of every single curse word. No one but Susano-O could hear him.

* * *

Chie, Teddie, and Rise watched the battle from the entrance to the room. The real Naoto lying off to the side was unconscious. Rise had summoned Himiko and was busily scanning the battle and shouting advice.

"That Shadow sure doesn't like Yosuke." Teddie remarked.

"Well, there is something kinda funny about it. I mean, he does talk a lot." Chie shrugged.

A sudden blast of ice drew their attention back to the battle. The Shadow had used Mabufudyne. And Yukiko had fallen to the ground, unconscious.

"Yukiko-senpai's down!" Rise's voice rang through Chie's head even though she wasn't fighting.

Souji turned to the sidelines. "Teddie, get over here!"

"Alright, but I don't really like operations." The bear pranced over to battle, taking Yukiko's spot as the healer.

Meanwhile, Chie had run over to Yukiko and dragged her away from the fray. She rummaged in her pocket for a revival bead. Upon finding one, she pressed it against Yukiko's forehead. A small beam of light shot out from the bead and into the unconscious girl. Yukiko sat up abruptly, coughing and blinking quickly.

"Did I get knocked out?"

"Yeah, Naoto's Shadow has a whole arsenal of –dyne attacks."

Just as Chie finished speaking, Kanji went flying backwards after being hit with Garudyne. Chie was about to run over when as singsong voice in her head stopped her.

_Now is not the time to fight. Support them! That will be far more useful than physical attacks!_

Chie frowned, but listened to Suzuka Gongen. "Hang in there, guys! You can do it!"

* * *

Kanji struggled to his feet upon hearing Chie's voice. She was right. They could do this. They'd fought so many strong enemies before. One logical Shadow wasn't going to destroy them.

Teddie healed the party with Mediarama, and Kanji felt all his wind-induced injuries heal in a refreshingly cool blast.

But Naoto's Shadow wasn't out of tricks yet. "Galgaliam eyes!"

Yosuke tried to doge the attack, but it hit him hard. He was knocked to the ground and couldn't get up.

"Yosuke-senpai's been enervated," Rise informed them.

"No problemo. You've got some bear-y good luck, Yosuke. I'm feeling generous today." Teddie grinned widely and summoned his persona. "Energy shot!"

A blue beam hit Yosuke's prone figure, and he was able to stand. He attempted to summon Susano-O, but found that he was still silenced.

He fished in his pocket and removed a device the party had found in a chest earlier in the dungeon. He chucked it at Naoto's Shadow. The device attached to the Shadow's chest.

"What foolishness is this?" The Shadow attempted to remove the item, but it stuck fast.

Suddenly a red light flashed and a high-pitched beep sounded. Yosuke smiled and saluted the Shadow.

The item exploded, sending Naoto's Shadow flying backwards.

"A smart bomb! Nice thinking, Yosuke-Senpai!" Rise squealed in delight. "Ok, guys. Hit it when it's down!"

Souji used mind charge and prepared for his next attack.

_Give him some power, kid._

"Senpai, go all out, yeah?" Kanji said as he summoned Take-Mikazuchi and cast an attack boost on Souji.

Souji nodded and smiled at Kanji. He summoned Black Frost, "Agidyne!"

The adorable fanged persona appeared and sent a pillar of flame on the reeling robot.

Kanji could feel the heat from the attack, and he was several feet away from the Shadow.

"That's it guys, it's in a weakened state now!" Rise cheered them on.

The Shadow was able to get up after Souji's attack, but now it was slumped and hung low in the air. A few sparks jolted from it.

"Why won't you lie down and die? You children can't do anything at all!"

"Wanna bet?" Kanji summoned Take-Mikazuchi for a powerful blow. Souji followed this up with an electrical attack, and Yosuke (still silenced) sliced at the Shadow with his knives.

At last, the Shadow stopped moving. The robot dropped to the ground and fizzled with electricity, clearly short-circuiting.

"Alright, you won!"

Kanji didn't wait for Teddie to heal him; he walked over to Naoto and waited for her to open her eyes.

"Acceptin' your true self is hard, but you ain't alone, man. You ain't alone."


	7. Chapter 4: Strength of Heart

A/N: Even though this isn't an interlude, I've included a song: _The Stranger_, by Billy Joel. It fits perfectly for this entire game. Any way, enjoy. Please read and review. I value your feedback.

Edit: I've added a bit to this chapter and fixed a few things. Persona and _The Stranger_ are copyrighted by their respective owners and are use here without permission.

**Borderline of Madness, Part 1: Secret Lab **

**Chapter 4: Strength of Heart**

_Well we all have a face  
That we hide away forever  
And we take them out and  
Show ourselves  
When everyone has gone  
Some are satin some are steel  
Some are silk and some are leather  
They're the faces of the stranger  
But we love to try them on._

_

* * *

_"Acceptin' your true self is hard, but you ain't alone, man. You ain't alone." The voice was far away, as if out of a dream.

Even so, Naoto was ready to argue. "I am alone. And I'm not a man. I am a girl. Only a girl. Nothing but a girl. And going to be a woman—only a woman," she thought. "Yes. They know what I am now. What could they possibly want with me now that they know this essential truth?"

This essential truth that she had attempted to deny for so long. So long, that it had, in fact, become personified in that juvenile lab coat-clad doppelganger.

"Naoto-kun?"

The voice again. Sharper. Concerned. Most definitely male.

"Just leave me be," she muttered. She didn't want to open her eyes and see the looks on Seta and his friend's faces. Surprise, disappointment, anger, confusion, disbelief, disgust, or worst of all, pity.

She felt a strong hand lift her head and a bottle press against her lips.

"Drink this." It was the same voice again.

A warm and rather vile tasting liquid trickled down Naoto's throat. She coughed and sputtered, bolting up to a sitting position. Her eyes flew open and observed nothing but blur.

As her vision cleared, and she noticed Tatsumi crouched near her. He held a bottle of something—that vile tonic in all likelihood.

"Naoto, you're awake. Are you alright?"

_I art thou._

Naoto clutched her head as a voice seared through her mind like white-hot steel.

"What…what is going on?" she stammered.

_And thou art I._

Ignoring Tatsumi's attempt to assist her, Naoto dragged herself to her feet. The rest of Seta's group was standing near her, but she pushed through them, not even able to hear their voices or see their faces.

_Fortune, accept me. I art thou. And thou art I._

All she could hear was that voice. That buzzing voice that had taken over all her senses. It was coming from the center of the room.

Naoto walked toward the voice. She found the lab-coat clad figure leaning against the operating table. It turned to look at her and a searing pain shot through her head.

_I art thou. Thou art I._

The doppelganger was subdued and seemed to be in a lot of pain.

_Accept me!_

Hesitantly, Naoto stretched out her hand and placed it on the reflection's shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I kept ignoring you, pretending you didn't exist. But you are me…and I am you. You've always been inside me. What I should yearn for…No, what I must strive for isn't to become a man. It's to accept myself for who I really am."

Her other self nodded and with a faint smile, disappeared in a flash of blue light.

Naoto watched, eyes wide, as a glowing card appeared in the air in front of her. She reached out and took the card. It shattered and blue light flowed from between her fingers. A shimmering and ethereal image appeared briefly before her eyes.

A voice buzzed deep within Naoto's mind. It seemed to be emanating from her very soul.

_The strength of heart required to face oneself has been made manifest. I am Sukuna-Hikona. I am the façade you use to overcome the trials and hardships of life. Thou art I and I art thou. I am your persona._

"Persona…"

The image faded and Naoto suddenly felt light, as if a great burden had been lifted from her. Her mind swam and she fell to her knees.

Seta's group closed in and Tatsumi said her name. Perhaps it was her imagination, but she thought he sounded concerned.

The world suddenly seemed to come back into focus.

"Are you awake?" Yukiko asked.

"You saw everything." Naoto sighed. Now they would leave. They'd abandon her.

_Listen. Listen._

Dear god. What in the world was that buzzing?

_I art thou. Remember? Listen. Listen._

Sukuna-Hikona. Persona. Naoto's head swam again.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Yukiko Amagi kneeling near her.

"It's alright. We've all shown our darker sides."

"I…" Naoto stammered, unable to form words.

"You must know already that what you yearn for isn't to become an adult or a boy." Yukiko smiled kindly.

"You're absolutely right. All I want is…to be accepted." Naoto sighed.

"It's all right. We all have things we hide." Souji smiled. "It takes a strong heart to accept yourself. The first step to being accepted, is accepting yourself. And that's the hardest step of all."

Yosuke grinned mischievously. "And if you're ever interested, I've seen all these guys' Shadows. I can let you know how crazy they all were if it'll make you feel better."

"Hey! No you won't." Chie punched him in the side.

Yukiko grimaced, Kanji made a strangled sort of choking noise and Rise bit her lip.

Souji shook his head and glanced sharply at Yosuke. Turning to Naoto, he smiled kindly. "Shadows are only a part of you. The rest is up to you."

_They accept us. Listen._

Naoto smiled at Seta's group. She silently spoke her thanks as she looked at each member of the group.

"In any event, you're a devious bunch. I can't believe you kept something like this hidden for so long." She attempted to chuckle, but it came out sounding closer to a wheeze. "No wonder the perpetrator has eluded the police." She tried to stand and failed. Frowning, she leaned over her knees. "But it's apparent now. This case is far from over."

Yosuke smiled at her. "That's right. And you proved it, Naoto." He paused and offered a hand to help her up. "But we need to get you out of here."

She looked at his hand skeptically, and finally took it and he helped her up. Her legs felt wobbly. She tried to take a step forward, and collapsed to the ground.

"You don't gotta do everything by yourself, you know."

Naoto looked up at Kanji, whose rough voice had just sounded from somewhere high above her head. "I am perfectly capable of—"

Kanji suddenly frowned, his eyes narrowing. "You're too frickin' reckless, dammit."

"I never doubted that you'd all come for me." Naoto breathed heavily.

"Tch. What a dumbass. You're no genius at all. We were tearing our hair out over you!" Kanji glared at her, his arms crossed.

"So you did worry about her, Kanji. Awww." Rise squealed in delight.

Kanji was visibly shaken, his cheeks reddening. "Shuddup! M-mind your own damn business!"

Naoto wasn't quite sure what to think of this exchange, so she settled for collapsing sideways on the floor.

The group ran to her side, murmuring words of concern.

"I don't think she's going to make it out of here by herself." Yukiko said to Souji as she crouched down near Naoto's prone figure.

"It's…all right…I can…" Naoto attempted to stand and through exhaustive effort, managed to push herself to her knees.

Kanji shook his head again and effortlessly scooped her up and slung her over his left shoulder. "No way. We just saved your damn ass. I ain't lettin' you mess that up by tryin' to be tough." He sighed. "Ain't nothin' tough about refusin' help when you need it."

If she hadn't been so exhausted, Naoto probably would have protested against Kanji's needless behavior, but for now, all she wanted to do was sleep.

Naoto didn't remember much of the trip out of the TV. She kept fading in and out of consciousness. Only a few fragmentary memories stuck in her mind: green light everywhere, some sort of red and blue creature—was that a bear? Kanji's smell—sweat tinged with something like clothing dye—oddly not unpleasant, and the feeling that she was not alone. Her mind was full of indistinct buzzing from Sukuna-Hikona. She had no desire to decipher what it was saying. She'd have the rest of her life to do that.

After all, Sukuna-Hikona was a part of her.

* * *

_You may never understand  
How the stranger is inspired  
But he isn't always evil  
And he is not always wrong  
Though you drown in good intentions  
You will never quench the fire  
You'll give in to your desire  
When the stranger comes along._


	8. Epilogue: Secret Lab

A/N: I decided to finish Naoto's arc with a little closing scene. I take a few things out of game order (Naoto gets her glasses from Teddie inside the TV, for example) but it's mostly consistent. I'm planning to do Kanji's arc next. Persona is copyrighted by Atlus and used here without permission.

**Borderline of Madness, Part 1: Secret Lab **

**Epilogue**

"This way." Souji beckoned Naoto to follow him. "The others are already there."

Naoto was only half listening to the sliver-haired leader as she craned her neck to take in the strange sights of the so-called "TV World." The sky—if you could really call the misty vortex above them a sky—was striped red and black, and fog hung heavily in the air.

_Listen. Listen to him. Always thinking, never caring. Listen._ Sukuna-Hikona buzzed restlessly.

Naoto stopped and looked at Souji. "Where exactly are we going again?" She bit her lip and shifted her eyes down to stare at her shoes. "I-I'm afraid I wasn't listening. There's…so much to look at."

Souji smiled. "No worries, Naoto. It is a lot to take in. The first time I was in the TV, I could barely focus on the task at hand because I just kept staring at everything, wondering if it was real." He chuckled. "Yosuke and Chie weren't exactly helpful either…Yosuke kept screaming about how badly he had to pee, and Chie was panicking about getting out."

"That sounds quite like them." Naoto smiled. "From what I've observed of your group, you all seem quite close."

Souji nodded. "We share an unbreakable bond." He turned to Naoto. "But you don't need to refer to them as "my" group. You're one of us now. You're part of that bond."

_Fortune. Arcana. Social link. Persona._

Naoto glanced up, as if to look at her persona. That was illogical, of course. Her persona was inside her head. But what exactly was it talking about? More importantly, why?

"Does your persona…talk to you?" Naoto asked hesitantly. If she was the only one with a talking persona, she did not really want to know.

"All the time. I mean, it's a zoo in my head. With twelve personas at a time, it gets pretty noisy up there." Souji tapped his head with a chuckle.

Naoto was more than slightly relieved. Also slightly annoyed. The buzzing didn't stop outside the TV. She'd conversed with the Investigation Team after her recovery, and all Sukuna-Hikona did was tell her to "Listen."

_Because you don't._ _You know that. Never listen._

"Senpai, you still haven't told me where we're going."

"You noticed that I was evading that question?"

Naoto nodded.

"Of course you did…foolish of me to try to distract a detective from details." He adjusted his glasses and sighed. "Promise you won't shoot me. We're headed to the place where we found you."

Naoto's eyes widened. "No. No way. Not that…lab place."

"This is why I didn't tell you. It's the best place to train at this point. I want you to get experience with your persona, but I don't want to waste a training session for the rest of the team either."

"But…" Naoto could find no suitable argument to combat Souji's logic. "Alright."

"Great. We're almost there." Souji continued walking and Naoto kept step beside him.

* * *

Kanji paced back and forth near the entrance to Naoto's dungeon. This place always made him uneasy—probably because it was connected to Naoto, and everything about Naoto made him feel nervous. No, Naoto didn't make him feel nervous. Naoto made him feel…something else. That "something else" was what was making him so nervous.

"You okay, Kanji?"

He looked up to see Rise staring at him quizzically. "Yeah. Uhh…I'm fine."

"You're pacing a hole in the ground."

Kanji looked down to see that there was a slight indent in the ground where he'd been walking. "I…uhh…just tryin' out my…new shoes. Yeah. New shoes."

"Hmm…right." Rise shrugged and resumed what she'd been doing: looking in a pocket mirror and began adjusting her hair. When Kanji looked a question at her, she shrugged. "I've gotta look good for Senpai."

Kanji quickly turned away from Rise, his eyes wide. "Shit. I shoulda paid more attention to what I looked like today. I mean…Naoto—"

_Take a freakin' breath, kid._ Take-Mikazuchi growled.

Kanji did as suggested. As he slowly exhaled, he felt himself relax…if only a bit. He looked over at the rest of the team.

Chie and Yukiko were talking and Teddie was trying to show a clearly uninterested Yosuke the glasses he'd made for Naoto.

"Senpai!" Rise's squeal brought Kanji out of his thoughts.

He looked up to see a blur of pigtails tackle Souji. Naoto, who had been standing near the leader, had deftly avoided being included in Rise's greeting.

Naoto adjusted her hat and looked around the entrance to the lab. Kanji could see that she was distressed. He couldn't blame her. Every time Souji suggested training at the sauna, Kanji felt like crawling into a hole to die.

"Uhh…hey, Naoto. Feelin' any better?" Kanji attempted conversation as the detective walked near where he was standing, investigating the lab.

Naoto mumbled some sort of greeting, but didn't seem to really hear Kanji.

"Err…it…it ain't too bad, goin' in your own dungeon. 's worse thinkin' about it."

Naoto looked up this time. "You have trained in your dungeon?"

Kanji grimaced. "Yeah. It ain't the most comfortable place for me to train, but it isn't as bad as I thought it'd be."

Naoto nodded and turned her attention back to the dungeon's entrance.

Meanwhile, Souji had managed to detach Rise's arms from his waist and was heading over to the rest of the group.

"Alright everyone. We're here to show Naoto the ropes and to do some training."

"How are you feeling?" Yukiko asked Naoto.

"Fine. I've had a sufficient time to recover."

"I made you some glasses, Nao-chan." Teddie tugged at Naoto's sleeve.

Naoto looked at the bear, slightly annoyed with the name he called her. Her annoyance dissipated as he handed her a beautifully crafted pair of glasses. The frames were purple and complemented her face shape and hair color nicely. She couldn't help noticing a deeper meaning behind the glasses too: she was part of Souji's group. She belonged.

"Thank you, Teddie." She smiled gently and put on the glasses. The fog cleared instantly.

"These are spectacular! How did you manage to construct them?"

"Well, I've got a lot of time to myself. When I lived over here, all I did was make glasses while I was waiting for Sensei and the others to come and visit. Now that I live in your world, Yosuke makes me work. It's so cruel. In fact, it's almost…un-bear-able."

Naoto looked at Teddie quizzically and Yosuke heaved a giant sigh. "Hey, you have to pay for room and board, you know."

Souji shook his head. "I'd like you to try and summon your persona now, Naoto."

Naoto turned her attention to the leader. "How?"

"Just think, 'I'm summoning my persona now,' and it'll happen naturally."

Naoto nodded and closed her eyes.

"Persona!" A glowing blue card appeared in front of her. Without really thinking about it, Naoto drew her revolver and shot the card. As it shattered, a small, insect-like creature appeared.

"She's got a gun!?" Yosuke stammered.

"Holy crap, it's got a lightsaber!" Chie pointed to the weapon in the persona's hand.

"Yeah, and she's got a GUN." Yosuke was staring at the weapon in Naoto's hand.

"It's…tiny." Yukiko said a little louder than she meant.

"What's it do?" Kanji asked as he watched the bug persona flit around Naoto's head.

Rise had summoned Himiko and was scanning Sukuna-Hikona. "Hmm…it's got light and dark…and some sort of physical attack."

Naoto looked up in wonder at the figure flitting about her. "Are those…helpful?"

Chie bit her lip. "Well…yeah. Hama and Mudo are both one-hit kills…the only thing is…you have to actually hit in order to one-hit kill."

Naoto raised an eyebrow. "What exactly do you mean?"

"Light and dark are really powerful. They're also really inaccurate." Souji shrugged. "But you've got physical attacks too, so no worries."

Naoto nodded. "That seems reasonable."

"So uhh…what's it called?" Kanji leaned closer to get a better look at the small persona.

"Sukuna-Hikona." Naoto smiled.

"Alright, I think we're ready to go." Souji pressed on his glasses and shifted into leader mode. "We'll go in two teams. Yukiko, Kanji, and Naoto will come with me starting on the first floor. Chie, Yosuke, and Teddie will start on the bottom floor. I want Teddie to act as both scanner and healer for the second team. Be sure to take it easy since you're a team of three. Ah, and take the Fox with you too."

The group broke off into the two teams, and Naoto followed Kanji and Yukiko into the lab. She no longer felt as apprehensive about training. Souji's group accepted her. They had all experienced similar situations and this brought them closer together. Perhaps this was the "bond" that Souji had mentioned.

They would solve this case. Naoto was sure of it. With their personas and the bond they shared as a team, nothing could stop them. Nothing.


	9. Chapter 5: The True Self

A/N: There is a good deal of swearing in this chapter (actually, in this entire arc…it is Kanji after all). Kanji does drop the f-bomb a few times, but not often enough that I felt I should rate the entire story M. There are also a few uses of the word "queer" (and similar words) in a negative manner. This does not reflect my own opinions at all, and I am using the word only to reflect Kanji's emotions. I do not mean to offend anyone of any sexual orientation through this story. If you feel that either of these things may offend you, please do not read on.

**Borderline of Madness**

**Part 2: Sauna **

**Chapter Five: The True Self**

"Nuugh…my head." Kanji sat up, rubbing his head.

What the hell had happened? One minute he'd been minding his own business at the store and the next…lights out. That's probably why his head hurt. Felt like he'd been frickin' curb-stomped or something.

"Bet it was those damn punks who've been followin' me. They prolly clocked me when I wasn't lookin'. That's what I get for turnin' my back on a bunch a losers."

Kanji rolled his neck around in a circle to make his head feel better. It didn't really help. But it sure was frickin' hot. Had his ma turned on the heat or somethin'?

"Crazy old bat. She does shit like that. She prolly found me knocked out and thought some heat'd be good for me." He was about to yell at his ma and tell her to turn the damn heat off, when he realized that he wasn't in the textile shop. He wasn't upstairs in his room either.

He looked around the room and found it to be big. Spacious even. The ceiling was pretty high and there was some sort of red curtain draped along the walls. Even from a distance, Kanji could tell that it was a nice fabric. Probably silk or maybe very fine cotton. The floor was made of smooth wood panels, and there was a slightly elevated area in the very back of the room. Kanji was on that elevated area.

"The hell?" This wasn't his ma's shop, that was for sure. There was a cheap-looking paneled screen divider (like the ones they had in the store for people to change behind) with flowers painted on it directly behind him, and red lantern lights hung from the ceiling. The lights cast an odd and almost seductive glow throughout the entire room. A thick steam hung in the humid air, softening these already dim lights.

Kanji suddenly felt claustrophobic. The air was too thick...too hot. He couldn't breathe. He began pulling at the collar of his skull t-shirt.

_Oh, don't worry. There isn't a thing to be nervous about here. Just relaaaax._

A deep but effeminate sounding voice drifted lazily through the steam.

"W-Who's there?" Kanji scrambled to his feet and spun around looking for the owner of the voice.

_Aww, I'm so disappointed. You don't recognize me?_ The voice crooned almost mockingly.

Kanji clenched his fists and his teeth as he scanned the room for the whoever that voice belonged to. "I might. I just can't see ya," he mumbled.

_Of course, you can't. You're so good at hiding me._

What the hell was this prick talking about?

"You're the one hidin' from me, punk." Kanji cracked his knuckles. "So why don't you come on out so I can beat the shit outa you?"

A sultry laughter rang out. It seemed to be all around him. But there was nobody there. Although he would never admit it to himself, Kanji was beginning to get seriously freaked out. Something about this whole room just felt…bad.

_Mmm, oh yes. You're in the Bad, Bad Bathhouse all right._ Again the sultry laugh. _And you know you like it here_. More of a challenging tone, as if the disembodied voice was daring him to disagree.

"I don't even know where the fuck I am!" Kanji tried to sound terrifying rather than terrified. He wasn't sure if he succeeded. Then the voice laughed again and banished all doubt. Kanji knew that, somehow, there was no fooling this voice.

_Don't know where you are? But Honey, you created it._

Kanji took a step backwards. "H-Honey? Who the hell you callin' Honey, eh?" There was something very odd about that voice. It seemed so…

_Familiar?_

"Wh-What the…get outa my head!"

_Get out of your head? My dear, that won't be happening. _

The steam began to flow towards the center of the room. Kanji's mouth fell open as he watched the mist swirl like water going down the drain after you pulled the plug. The steam began to take on a human form.

"Holy sh-shit." Kanji felt a cold chill run down his spine despite the temperature of the room.

The steam took an even more definite shape. Slowly chunks of mist began to peel off the figure like dry skin. As the figure stepped out into the now fog-clear room, Kanji felt his stomach drop. He was starring at himself. It was a mirror image, right down to the skull tattoo on his left shoulder and the stud in his nose. The only difference was clothing. Kanji was wearing his skull t-shirt and some old scuffed up jeans. The doppelganger wore only a short white towel around his waste.

_Kanji Tatsumi!_ The double squealed in delight. It ran forward and embraced a very stunned Kanji. _Mmhmm, oh it is so good to finally meet you, you delicious slice of man._ The double squeezed Kanji's butt.

Kanji gave a surprised (and unfortunately rather high-pitched) scream and pushed the double away violently. "Don't fucking touch me, you…queer!"

_Me? A queer? Perhaps. But you should know. After all, I am you._

Kanji just stood there staring at his double, stuttering. How could this other guy be him? The dude looked like him...but he didn't act like him. No way in hell would Kanji ever run around in a bath towel. And he certainly wouldn't flounce like this dude was. Kanji didn't flounce. Ever.

_Are you sure? You know what everyone says about you. You know those punks saw you with that boy at the riverbed the other day. _The double gave an amorous sigh. _Ah…such a sweet, boyish face. And that dark hair…you know you just want to run your fingers through it. Knock the hat loose and just muss that mop._ The double made a sort of purring noise deep in its throat.

Kanji swallowed hard. His tongue stuck to the roof of his dry mouth. "H-How the hell you know about all that?"

_I already told you, Honey. I am you. And you are me. _

Kanji shook his head violently. "I ain't like you."

_You sure? Don't you like to sew?_ _And you like men. Just like me._ The double poked Kanji in the chest and giggled.

Kanji made an odd sort of choking noise. How the hell did this fag know anything about him? It couldn't actually be him…could it? It felt like the room was closing in on him again. The air was hot and thick. His head was on fire and all he could think about was his sewing machine…and that boy with the blue hat. He sank to the ground and rested his head on his knees.

"Just get the hell outa here. Leave me alone!"

_What's so bad about being like me?_

"Shut the fuck up!" Kanji plugged his ears and squeezed his eyes shut. But even through his plugged ears, he could hear the goddamn double crooning and laughing and flouncing about.

This had to be some sort of crazy ass dream. He'd wake up soon and all of this would be just a fucked up nightmare.

_Are you afraid of your true self? Get used to it, Honey. There's no chance at escaping me now. Not here._

Oh he hoped to god he woke up soon.


	10. Interlude 4: The Backside of the TV

A/N: Yosuke is jamming to his tunes again. The song that I use is from Epica's _Deconstruct_. It's a really good song if you like orchestral-operatic-femme metal (like me). Everything is, of course, copyrighted by the respected owners.

**Borderline of Madness**

**Part 2: Sauna **

**Interlude: The Backside of the TV**

The Investigation Team sat in their self-proclaimed "Secret Headquarters" (known to the rest of Inaba as the third table on the left at the food court in Junes). Souji was discussing plans for rescuing Kanji Tatsumi from the TV with Chie, Yosuke, and Yukiko when a small "Yip," sounded from somewhere near his feet.

"AHH! Ohmygod, what the hell is that?!" Chie hastily pointed in Souji's direction, knocking her can of soda over in the process. Yukiko quickly mopped up the spill with a wad of napkins.

Souji looked where Chie was pointing and saw the fox he'd encountered at the Shrine. "Hey, it's that fox."

"Yip!"

Remembering the healing leaves, Souji suddenly had an idea. "I think we should let it come with us when we go into the TV."

Yosuke starred at him in disbelief. "Dude, it's a fox."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I have to agree with Yosuke. How do we know it won't…you know…eat us?" Chie said. Her eyes remained fixed on the orange furry terror standing at Souji's feet.

"Yip!" The creature let out a small cry of disagreement.

"Does it understand what we're saying?" Yukiko looked at the Fox in wonder.

"Yip!" The Fox dipped his head slightly in what appeared to be a nod.

"I think it does. I saw it at the shrine the other day. He had a bunch of weird looking leaves."

Yosuke shrugged. "So it had an upset stomach or something. Dogs eat grass when they feel sick, right?" He looked to Chie for confirmation.

"What are you looking at me for?"

"You're the one with the dog!"

"How am I supposed to know if a fox eats grass just because—"

"Guys!" Souji's eternally calm voice cut through their argument. "He gave one of the leaves to a crippled old man. It completely restored the man's ability to walk and it made him almost…young again."

It was Chie's turn to stare at Souji in disbelief. "Magic leaves?"

"Yip yip yap!" The Fox picked up a can in its mouth and nudged Souji's leg. The can had a ¥ sign on it. Then the Fox motioned to a small satchel on its back. The bag was stuffed full of what Chie had so eloquently deemed "magic leaves."

Souji shrugged. "He says if we pay a small fee, he'll restore our energy inside the TV."

"A fee?! That's ridiculous!" Yosuke exclaimed. "It's a woodland creature. Why the hell does it need money?"

"Grrrr…"

"I don't know, Yosuke. This sounds like it might be useful." Yukiko knelt down by the Fox. "Can you really help us?"

"Arroooo!" The Fox howled in confirmation and wagged its tail as Yukiko scratched it behind the ears.

"I think we should bring it." Yukiko stood back up, smiling.

Chie shrugged. "Well, if Yukiko's fine with it…he doesn't bite, right Souji?"

Souji shrugged again. "He hasn't bitten me yet."

Yosuke groaned. "Great. Now we have a bear _and_ a fox. It'll be a regular zoo now."

"So, are we settled?" Souji asked, ignoring Yosuke's jibe. His team nodded. "Alright. Then let's go rescue Tatsumi."

The party left the Junes food court and headed toward the electronics department with the Fox following stealthily behind them.

* * *

"What do you mean you can't find him? Didn't you just say you could smell that he was here?!"

"Oh, don't yell at me Yosuke. I'm trying beary hard." Teddie frowned and tried to locate Kanji one more time. He sniffed at the air and held his breath on the last sniff. His face began to turn blue just as he let out a dejected breath. "I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I know he's here…I just can't tell where."

"Great. Now you're obnoxious and useless." Yosuke grumbled.

Souji shot him a warning glance. "Yosuke!" He turned his glance on Teddie, softening his expression. "It's ok, Teddie. It was easy with Yukiko. We knew exactly what we were looking for since Chie is such good friends with her."

Yukiko nodded. "It's true. If it had been just Yosuke and Souji looking for me, it would probably have been harder to find me."

Chie beamed briefly but quickly returned her worried glance to the Fox snuffling around near her feet. "Since none of us know Kanji-kun that well, it isn't surprising that we can't find him."

Souji nodded. "Chie is right. We need to talk to someone who knows Kanji a little better. If we can figure out anything about him, maybe it'll help you."

"That's a great idea, Sensei!" Teddie smiled. "See, Yosuke, I'm _not_ useless." The bear stuck his tongue out at Yosuke. Yosuke replied by sticking his tongue out as well.

"Real mature, Yosuke." Chie scoffed.

"What? He started it."

"Teddie, stay here and play with the Fox. We'll be back as soon as we find something out about Kanji." Souji said as he moved toward the stacked televisions that marked the exit to the TV world. Yosuke, Chie, and Yukiko followed him as he exited the TV world.

Teddie glanced nervously down at the Fox. "Uhh…hi there. I'm Teddie."

"Yip!" The Fox promptly sat down on Teddie's foot and looked up adoringly.

* * *

The Investigation Team had returned to their "Secret Headquarters" in order to discuss "operation get to know Tatsumi by asking other people that might know him" (eloquently titled as such by Chie).

"I think Tatsumi-san is our best bet at this point." Yukiko said in her soft, yet attention-grabbing manner. "She's his mother, so obviously she'll know quite a bit about Kanji. She also knows me, so my asking her wouldn't seem so odd."

Souji nodded. "That sounds perfect."

"Yeah, I can't really think of anyone else who'd really know much about him." Yosuke frowned in thought. "It's not like he comes to school that often. And even if he did, I doubt he'd make very many friends with his '_get bent, punks_' attitude."

"What about that boy he was with the other day? You know, the one we followed?" Chie asked Yosuke.

"Oh, you mean that short, skinny, weird kid? I don't know. They didn't look like they knew each other that well."

Chie shrugged. "It was just a thought. Off-base as usual."

Souji shook his head. "Actually, you may have something there. Why don't you two go walk around the riverbed and see if you can find the kid? Yukiko and I will go talk to Tatsumi-san."

"Right."

The four split into their pairs and set off in different directions.

* * *

The slender detective fidgeted in the close air within the textile shop. He was quite concerned with Kanji's apparent absence. They had scheduled to have another conversation today after school, however Kanji had not shown up at the designated meeting place. If Kanji had truly vanished, the detective's suspicion linking a victim's television appearance and their subsequent kidnapping was spot on…as expected of course. As he spoke to Kanji's mother, he resisted the urge to fan himself with his hat. The room was hot, but fanning himself with a hat was not only unprofessional, but far too feminine a gesture. Best not to give any doubt.

"You are certain that Kanji-kun did not return at any point that evening? If he were running away I—"

Kanji's mother smiled kindly at the boy. "Oh, Kanji wouldn't runaway. He sometimes takes off by himself for a little while. It isn't that unusual. Now can I offer you some tea…?"

"I apologize. I forgot to introduce myself. I am Naoto Shirogane. And no tea, thank you. I have business to attend to."

"Of course. If you happen to see Kanji, please tell him that his mother has his favorite supper waiting."

_I seriously doubt I will be able to tell him that. Your son has most likely been kidnapped and may be dead_. "I will. Thank you for your time, Tatsumi-san."

Naoto opened the door to exit the hot textile shop only to bump into something. Looking up, he noticed it was a silver-haired boy wearing a Yasogami High uniform.

"Excuse me." He adjusted his hat and hurried out the door with barely concealed embarrassment written on his face.

* * *

Souji stared after the slender boy as he hurried away from the shop. "Yukiko, was that the boy?"

"Huh?" Yukiko looked at him oddly. "What boy?"

"The boy that Kanji was with. Was that him? The one with the hat?"

Yukiko squinted after the hastily retreating figure. Before she could answer, Souji had already set off after him.

"Hey!" Souji called after the boy.

Upon hearing the shout, the slim boy stopped and turned around to face Souji. "Yes?"

"You were hanging out with Kanji Tatsumi the other day, right?"

Naoto would have been suspicious of such questioning if the silver-haired boy hadn't had such a disarming attitude. "Yes. I conversed with him briefly following the conclusion of school yesterday."

"Well, I'm a…friend of his. He seems to have disappeared. I haven't talked to him for awhile, so I was wondering if you noticed anything odd when you spoke with him."

A million alarm bells popped up in the detectives mind: _he paused briefly before saying friend (meaning he is most likely lying), how would he know that Kanji and I spoke if he has not talked to Kanji recently, if he was a friend of Kanji's wouldn't he know if something odd was going on?_ All of these objections to the silver-haired boy's question seemed moot when he spoke a second time.

"I'm concerned something has happened to him. I need to know if anything strange was going on."

The silver-haired boy's eyes were full of some secret motivation, but not a devious one. He may have been lying about his relationship with Kanji, but he was not lying about being concerned. Naoto noticed something unspoken. The boy seemed to say: "I know what's going on. I can help him. I just need to know what you know." For some reason, Naoto didn't analyze those thoughts any further.

"I noticed that he seemed somewhat…uneasy around me. When I told him that he was a strange person, he reacted oddly, immediately becoming quiet." Naoto shrugged and adjusted his hat. "I feel that he must harbor a complex of some sort."

The silver-haired boy's eyes briefly seemed to light up. "Thank you, for your help. You've been very useful…"

"Naoto Shirogane." _Useful!_

"Thank you, Naoto-kun."

And with that, the silver-haired boy left without so much as introducing himself. Naoto stared after him, a frown pasted on his face.

"Something is odd about that one. I'll have to keep my eyes open." The detective continued his walk home deep in thought.

* * *

Yosuke sat with Chie at the "Secret Headquarters" waiting for Yukiko and Souji to return. They'd found no trace of the weird skinny kid at the floodplain, and Yosuke was getting irritated with Chie…for making him want her so badly. It was easy to pretend that he was just irritated with her, since that was the kind of relationship they had.

_Why don't you just say something then? _

Yosuke mentally admonished his persona. "Shut up, Jiraiya. You don't know anything about women!"

_Of course I don't. I am you after all._

"Fuck you, Jiraiya."

He slid on his headphones in an attempt to block out his persona. The song that came up in the shuffle was some soulful ballad. Yosuke grabbed his i-pod and quickly switched the music to something much more loud and angry.

_If we could see ourselves, the mirror would reflect insanity  
Instead we camouflage the flaws that lie within  
Condone the suffering we witness as we mingle casually  
We need to right ourselves, or else we will derail_

How fitting, Yosuke though. How goddamn fitting.

Chie tapped him on the shoulder. "They're back."

Yosuke slid off his headphones and looked up as Yukiko and Souji walked up to the table.

"I had the great fortune of stumbling upon Naoto Shirogane, the boy Kanji was talking with the other day." Souji smiled. "He said that Kanji may have a 'complex' of some type. I think that's enough for Teddie to go on."

Yosuke nodded and smiled. "Alright then, let's go rescue Kanji!"

They headed back towards the electronics section, this time determined to find Kanji._  
_


	11. Chapter 6: A Corner of Memories

A/N: There's a lot of swearing again. You have been warned. I'm not going to up the rating of the entire story because of Kanji's arc, but the language is pretty M rated. Naoto's isn't and I'm not planning to make Rise and Yukiko's like this. Anyway, enjoy.

**Borderline of Madness, Part 2: Sauna**

**Chapter Six: A Corner of Memories**

Kanji had given up on blocking out what his double was saying. It was frickin' pointless. He could still hear the dude even with his ears plugged. It was like the guy was in his head or something.

He stood with his back against a wooden pillar, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. His head still hurt. Bad. Like the time one of those biker bastards hit him on the head with a crowbar. He tried to ignore it, but the intense heat of the room wasn't doing shit to help. And that fruity look-alike _really _wasn't helping.

Kanji directed his gaze over toward his double who was currently reclining on some pillows in the far corner of the room, filing his fingernails.

"What the hell ya doin'?!" Kanji groaned. "You're actin' like a fuckin' fag with my goddamn face!"

The double glanced up at him and gave a small chuckle. _Does this bother you? Is it upsetting to see your true self?_

Kanji shook his head. "Uh-uh. No way. I ain't like that. I never do any of the shit you're doin'. I'm a man, dammit!"

_And I'm not a man, hmm? Is that what you're trying to say? Just because I like things that girls like? Does that mean I'm not manly?_

Kanji scowled at him. "I ain't sayin' nothin'."

The double stood and sauntered over to Kanji. _Sewing isn't something real men do. Men like sports and women. Do you like sports? Do you like women?_

Kanji edged away from his double, pressing his back hard against the pillar. "'s okay for guys to sew."

_Kanji, darling, your voice holds no conviction. I know you don't believe that. _

The double reached out and lightly stroked Kanji's cheek. _I know what you want. And it isn't a woman._

"Shut up!" Kanji pushed his double away violently and half sprinted, half tripped across the room to where the door should have been. He discovered soon that there was no door.

"Wh-where the hell's the door at?" Kanji no longer cared about concealing the pure terror in his voice. He was scared shitless. He was going to die here with that…_thing_. What would his Ma do without him?

_Yes, Kanji. You're leaving her behind. Just like your father did. What a horrible son. _The double shrugged. _But it's probably better than telling her that you're gay. _

"I ain't gay!" Kanji screamed and punched the wall where the door should have been.

His double made a _tsk_ noise. _Me thinks my lady doth protest too much. You know, you've never been like the other boys. You've always been interested in "girly" things. Like sewing and cooking. Your newly awakened feelings for Naoto Shirogane prove that you are not and will never be like the other boys. _

The shadow grabbed Kanji's shoulders with surprising strength. _I know everything about you. There's no hiding anything from me. I know you want him. I know you're just parading around like some badass punk because you are insecure. I know you, Kanji, because I AM YOU!_

Kanji shook with rage. Or was that fear? Sometimes it was hard for him to tell the difference. What this thing was saying was true. He knew it. And he hated that stupid reflection for seeing right through him. Kanji didn't doubt that this thing was him. Not for a second. He'd always known that something like this fruit was hiding somewhere in his mind. He hadn't ever expected these hidden thoughts and feelings to come to life and start tormenting him in some sort of weird ass sauna, but Kanji had always been bad at expecting things.

_You didn't expect your dad to die, did you? _

Kanji shook his head. "He shouldn't 'a died. He was invincible. He was so tough. But…" Kanji's voice choked with emotion.

_His lungs gave out. Too many cigarettes. By the time they found the cancer, it was too far-gone. Six months. And then he was gone. _

"It ain't fair, dammit! Why'd he haveta leave? Now I gotta take care of Ma all by myself."

_You remember his last words, right?_

Kanji blinked rapidly, attempting not to cry. Men didn't cry, dammit. "He told me to be a man."

_You've failed him, haven't you? How can you be a man when you sew and fantasize about short, blue hat-wearing boys? How can you ever live up to your father's last wish?_

Kanji couldn't help it. The goddamn tears just started pouring out of his eyes. He fell to his knees and began sobbing.

"I'm tryin' to be a man!"

_But you just can't be one._

"Shut the fuck up!" Kanji sobbed as he pounded his fists against the floor. "DAMMIT!"

He felt a hand rest on his shoulder and looked up to see his double gazing at him with a mix of pity and smug satisfaction.

_Reject their world. Accept mine. Why deny what you know is true?_

"Because I don't…I don't wanna!" Kanji attempted to shrug his double off.

The double chuckled and began glowing darkly. Its eyes yellowed. _**That's right. You aren't man enough to accept your true self, are you? You're a disappointment to everyone. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO PROVE YOUR MASCULINITY, YOU WILL NEVER BE A REAL MAN!**_

Kanji was about to protest when he suddenly heard voices. They were muffled, as if far away. It reminded him of listening to his parents talking through the heat vent in his room when they had "grown-up" conversations downstairs.

"_We've got to find Kanji-kun soon. It's supposed to rain in a few days."_ A soft female voice said.

"_Don't worry Yukiko, we'll save him!"_ A louder female voice encouraged the first speaker.

"_Just like we did with you."_ A calm male voice agreed.

"_G-guys? Is anyone else getting really creeped out by this place?"_ A second male voice, less confident and slightly whiney.

Kanji looked up to see his double punch the pillar in the center of the room. _Goddamn those punks! They won't find a fucking thing! Not here. They can't save you. You don't even want to be saved!_

Kanji glared at the reflection. "You don't know shit, asshole! I want to get out of here right now. If somebody's comin' to get me, then I'm goin' with 'em. You don't know shit about what I want."

Kanji turned his back to his double and shut his eyes. He strained his ears in an attempt to catch more conversation from his unknown rescuers.

_They won't have an easy time finding you. I'll make sure of that._

"Yeah, whatever." Kanji snorted. "They'll find me…whoever they are."

He trained his eyes on where the door should have been and prayed that they'd get him out of there soon.


	12. Interlude 5: Reach Out for the Truth

A/N: More music. Yay! It's too perfect not to include in a Persona 4 fic: _Another Stranger Me_ by Blind Guardian. I use some of the game dialogue here, but the majority is original. Also, if you are interested in any of the songs that I am using, go to go to my profile page and click the link. It'll take you to a playlist. Anyway, this chapter really delves into Chie's character since I haven't really gone inside her head too much. I hope you enjoy!

**Borderline of Madness**

**Part 2: Sauna **

**Interlude: Reach Out for the Truth**

* * *

_A glimpse of life from somewhere deep within  
Awake and understand…is there anyone else here?  
Let's find out now that I am not dreaming.  
Here it comes, the real me.  
I didn't know; I couldn't hear the answer.  
My mind was blank; I should've known  
I held it back but somehow there is someone else  
Another stranger me…_

* * *

Chie could hear the bass pounding out an odd rhythm from Yosuke's headphones as she followed him through the misty halls of Kanji's sauna. He must have had the volume turned up all the way. She couldn't help wondering what song he was listening to. What kind of music did he even like? (She never would have guessed that it was English Symphonic Metal).

_Chie-san, why are you filling your head with thoughts of that foolish boy? You should be readying your mind and body for the upcoming battles._ Tomoe's cold-steel voice filled Chie's head.

"I-I am ready." Chie told her persona. "And I wasn't thinking of anything." She could hear the look that her persona gave her (if, of course, her persona was actually able to give 'looks'). "All right, all right. So maybe I was thinking about Yosuke…err, Yosuke's music."

_You are trying to hide your emotions from yourself, Chie-san. It doesn't work very well. I see very clearly that you care for this boy. _Chie interrupted in protest, but Tomoe continued. _See to it that this does not distract you from your mission. He is a man. He may not be worth what you would lose. The heart is weak and breaks easily._

Chie always wondered why her persona talked so much. It was a bit irritating. Tomoe had been aware of her growing feelings for Yosuke before she had even acknowledged them. But now that her persona pointed it out, it was impossible to ignore.

"Well…crap." She knew it was impossible to say anything to Yosuke. He might laugh at her. And besides, she was no Saki Konishi. She never would be either. Yosuke had put that dead girl on a pedestal, and even if Chie had possessed good looks (like Yukiko), it would have been useless. Yosuke gave Saki the air of inhuman beauty that can only come from a love never truly obtained and stolen away by untimely death. Chie could never beat that.

"Chie?" Yukiko's soft voice cut through her reverie.

"Huh?"

"Are you alright?" Yukiko looked at her in concern. "You looked very upset just a moment ago. Do you need healing?"

Chie shook her head quickly. "Oh, no. No. I'm fine. I was just thinking."

"Really? That's new." Yosuke's voice drifted haughtily back to the two girls.

Chie narrowed her eyes at him. "How could you even hear that? You're music is so loud that I can hear it all the way back here."

"Skill." Yosuke smirked.

"Never can pass up an opportunity to insult someone, can you?" Souji turned to Yosuke.

Chie glared at Yosuke. "You are a jerk."

Yosuke grinned and made a wide sweeping bow. "Thank you, madam. I live to serve."

Chie rolled her eyes and turned her gaze down the hall to Teddie. "How much farther Teddie?"

"I feel a powerful shadow up ahead."

"Is it Kanji-kun?" Yukiko asked.

The bear shook his head. "No. I don't think he's on this floor."

Chie would have said something more, but she was interrupted by a slow, lazy laughter. It seemed to be coming from the steam that hung in thick clouds around them.

"Did you hear that?!" Yosuke exclaimed, drawing his daggers.

"Yeah." Souji's hand fell on the hilt of his sword.

Chie fell into a fighting stance and Yukiko unfolded her fan.

"Oooooh, my my! Thank you for your undivided attention!" The steam echoed a deep but effeminate voice.

"Th-that's…Kanji-kun!" Yukiko exclaimed. "I recognize his voice!"

"There's something…different about it though." Chie said slowly, not wishing to voice her thoughts. If she was wrong, and no one else thought that the voice sounded a bit fabulous, she'd feel really dumb.

"He sounds so gay!" Yosuke snorted and confirmed Chie's thoughts.

The lazy laughter silenced them again. "At last, I've _penetrated_ the facility! But I've yet to have any charming encounters. Could this hot fog be the cause? It's like steam rising from sweat! Mmmm, my body's tingling with excitement!"

Oh, yes. There was definitely something different.

"Crap. This is so wrong in so many ways." Yosuke groaned.

"Yeah…I remember it being kinda like this with Yukiko, too." Chie shuddered as she remembered the pink-clad double strutting around the halls of the castle bragging about her lacy unmentionables.

"N-No…It wasn't like this!" Yukiko blushed fiercely.

Kanji's shadow (or at least that's who Chie thought the voice belonged to) interrupted them again.

"That elusive thing I truly yearn for…Will I finally find it here?" The voice giggled. "Well then onward and _deeper_ to reach further realms of romance! Let's get going, dammit!"

"That sounds a little more like the Kanji we met." Yosuke muttered.

Souji motioned for him to shut-up, but there was no need. Kanji's shadow spoke no more.

"What was all that about, Sensei?" Teddie plodded over to Souji, the Fox at his heels.

"Uhh…" Souji bit his lip. "I'll explain it to you later, Teddie. For now, we should get going toward that powerful shadow that you mentioned. It should lead us to Kanji."

Teddie nodded and directed them to a large door with heavy steam pouring out from the cracks.

_Prepare yourself, Chie-san._

Chie nodded. "Let's do this, guys!"

Souji nodded and slid the door open. A rush of very hot, very thick steam blinded them.

Chie attempted to clear her vision, but the steam was just too dense. It was difficult to breathe. The air was soupy and humid. Sweat trickled down her neck. What if the shadow attacked them now? They wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it!

_Calm!_ Tomoe shouted to her. _Wait. _

Chie stood still and watched as the steam slowly thinned to reveal a large figure.

"It's a Daring Gigas!" Souji said.

"It's huge!" Yukiko exclaimed.

"Holy shit." Chie stared up at the enemy and determined that if the entire party (including the Fox) stood on each other's shoulders, they might reach the monster's waist. The giant nude (save for the rainbow colored Speedo) monster towered over them and laughed a deep, throaty laugh.

"Welcome to Man's World. This place is heating up from the sudden entry of a fine young man! To celebrate this encounter, I've prepared a special stage tonight! A single match with no time limit! Who will be left standing in the end? Now, pour out your hot blood and guts!" Kanji's Shadow's voice echoed through the room.

"D-Don't lose, Sensei!" Teddie whimpered and backed up toward the door. The Fox gave an encouraging "Yip!"

"Alright! Let's do this!" Yosuke shouted.

Chie nodded and readied herself for battle.

* * *

_Punch. Punch. Kick. Block. Punch. Dodge. PERSONA!_

Chie went through the motions of battle with barely a thought. Fighting had always been a part of her life. Her family represented a strong line of martial artists, and Chie was proud to stand as part of that line. Her skills were honed. She took no little pride in the fact that everyone else in the party required weapons in order to fight. But not her. Her weapons were her feet and her fists. And now, her mind. For the first time, she could use her mind to fight.

"Protect me, Tomoe!" No sooner had the glittering blue card appeared, Chie shattered it with a kick.

The yellow-clad, spear-wielding warrior appeared and cast Bufu on the gigantic Daring Gigas. The monster staggered backwards following the attack.

"Let's do this, Jiraiya!"

Yosuke's voice carried over the sound of battle and Chie turned to glance over at him. His headphones were on, and his body swayed to the unknown beat as he slashed his card with a dagger. His persona appeared and knocked the monster over with a powerful blast of wind. She smiled at him and he caught her eye. Perhaps she only imagined it, but it seemed as if something passed between them in that glance.

Before she could decide, Souji interrupted her thoughts. "It's down! Let's go!"

"Right. All for one, and one for all!" Yosuke yelled and charged forward.

Chie followed with Yukiko on one side and Souji on the other.

They attacked at once, unleashing their fury. Sword blade hacked, daggers slashed, metal fan sliced, powerful legs kicked. Attack followed attack. Chie kept punching and kicking until she felt she could no longer breathe.

Fortunately, Souji seemed to understand that his team was tiring and pulled the group back from their all-out attack. They returned to their earlier battle formation.

Chie was soaked with sweat. The temperature and humidity of the sauna added to the exertion of battle. Yukiko healed the group with Media, and Chie almost felt worse. The heat from the healing spell may have healed her wounds, but it made her already overheated body even warmer.

Chie turned her eyes back to the Daring Gigas. It was slouched over in a weakened state.

_Do it!_ Her persona prompted her.

Chie glanced at Souji. "Can I have this one?"

Souji smiled and nodded.

"Alright!" Chie crouched down and charged up with her persona. "Here we go!" She ran forward to the Gigas and unleashed a powerful kick. As her foot connected with the monsters body, Chie could feel Tomoe's power flow through her leg. The shadow went flying back through the wall and continued crashing through walls for another three rooms. He finally crashed to the floor and crumpled.

The battle was over. The shadow would never move again. Chie smiled to herself as she dropped to on knee. She was completely drained from the battle and the Galactic Punt.

"Holy shit, Chie! What was that?!" Yosuke had pushed his headphones down around his neck and sheathed his daggers.

Yukiko just gazed at her friend with awe.

Souji chuckled. "I told you it would work, Satonaka."

Yosuke turned to face him. "Wait, you knew she could do that?!"

Souji nodded. "We've been training after school at the riverbed. Chie had the great idea of combining her persona's power with an attack. I told her it would be an attack of amazing power."

Souji glanced at the multiple Gigas shaped holes in the sauna walls and then glanced back at Chie. "And I'd say that I was right."

Chie laughed weakly and accepted Souji's outstretched hand, allowing him to pull her off the ground.

"You were right. But I'm completely drained." Chie staggered and Yukiko rushed to her side to support her.

"Are you alright?"

"I am, but I can't…I can't summon Tomoe anymore now."

Yosuke looked at Souji. "Do you think I could do something like that?"

Souji nodded. "I'm sure you can. But I'd be careful about using attacks like that. Chie's really drained. Those attacks are for desperate situations only."

Chie nodded. "I'm useless now, Souji. I know we need to rescue Tatsumi today. It's going to rain tonight. But I just can't…"

"Yip!" The Fox ran up to Chie and nudged her leg.

"Yeek!" She jumped. "Oh, it's just that fox."

"I think it wants to give you something, Chie-chan." Teddie plodded over.

Chie looked down and noticed that the Fox held a leaf in his mouth. She took the leaf from the creature and stuffed it in her mouth. It tasted very much as she expected—leafy, crispy, and far too much like a vegetable. She swallowed it down with great distaste.

The effect was immediate. Her body filled with energy. She felt like she could perform one hundred Galactic Punts and then run a marathon.

"Holy shit. Those really are magic leaves!" Chie jumped around and did a few practice kicks. "I'm ready! Let's go save Tatsumi!"

"Yip!" The Fox nudged her leg again.

"Oh, what now?" She looked down to see the fox holding the ¥ can in its teeth. "Oh…umm…I don't really have any money."

"Grrrr!" The Fox snarled at her.

Chie took a giant step back. "I'm sorry! I didn't—"

Yosuke stepped forward and deposited the money in the can.

"Yip yip yap!" The Fox pranced cheerfully over to Teddie and sat on his feet. It began to shake the can and seemed quite pleased as the money inside jingled.

Chie wasn't sure what to say. "Why? Why did you pay for me, Yosuke?"

The brown-haired boy shrugged. "It's not like most of my allowance doesn't get spent on you and your goddamn steaks anyway. The way I see it, if I pay for you to get fixed up in the TV, I don't have to buy you dinner. Seems like a fair trade off to me."

Before she could respond, he'd slipped his headphones on again and walked toward the door. "You coming?" He directed the question at Souji.

Souji nodded and sheathed his sword. "Let's go."

Teddie (closely followed by the Fox) followed after Souji.

Chie was staring at the back of Yosuke's head with an odd expression on her face.

_He may not be worth what you would lose._ Tomoe reminded.

"But what if he is?"

_You are the one to decide, Chie-san._

"I know. But…not now. For now, this…this is enough."

Yukiko hung back and glanced at Chie. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Chie answered honestly. "Just figuring something out. I think I understand now."

Yukiko looked at her with confusion. "What?"

Chie smiled. "Don't worry about it. Let's go save Tatsumi!"

Yukiko saw that her friend's smile was sincere and returned it.

The two walked together toward the hallway where the rest of the group was waiting to continue the rescue mission.

* * *

And there you have it. Please let me know what you think. Love it? Hate it? Feel ambivolent? Tell me! I welcome criticism (and of course praise isn't terrible to read :D )


	13. Chapter 7: Borderline of Madness

A/N: Once again, Kanji is a foul-mouthed dude (and so is his shadow), so the swearing is pretty intense. If that bothers you, you probably shouldn't read this. Again, I use some derogatory words for homosexuals, but this by no means reflects my actual sentiments about that lifestyle. It is purely for the situation in the plot and is not meant to offend anyone. Also, I use actual dialogue from the game in this chapter. Persona 4 is copyrighted. I've also added a poem: I Am Not I by Juan Ramon Jimenez and translated by Robert Bly. Also copyrighted.

**Borderline of Madness, Part 2: Sauna **

**Chapter Seven: Borderline of Madness**

_I am not I._

_I am this one_

_Walking beside me whom I do not see,_

_Whom at times I manage to visit,_

_And at other times I forget._

_The one who remains silent when I talk,_

_The one who forgives, sweet, when I hate,_

_The one who takes a walk when I am indoors,_

_The one who will remain standing when I die._

* * *

Kanji was pacing a whole in the floor of the sauna and he knew it. That goddamn fruit of a double kept pointing it out to him. Like he didn't know. Pacing was his thing. When he got nervous, he paced. Back and forth. Back and forth.

_How long are you going to keep that up, hmm? You're just wasting time._

Time? How long had he even been in this piece of shit bathhouse? Didn't matter.

"Shut up!" Kanji growled, attempting to keep his fear from showing through. That thing was freaking him out. Real bad. When it had glowed earlier…Kanji thought it was gonna kill him. It could still kill him.

_That's right, Kanji dear. You are my bitch._ The shadow smirked and sauntered over to Kanji. _You know what you want. You even know that I am you. So why won't you just accept me?_

Kanji stopped pacing and glared at the double. "Because you're being a dick about it!"

The double chuckled. _Oh…the delicious, delicious irony. Me. Being a dick? Aren't dicks masculine? You, my dear, are no man._ The shadow smiled wickedly and made a fast grab for Kanji, catching him between the legs.

Kanji shrieked and tried to detach the double's hand from the awkward place it had latched onto. "THE FUCK YOU DOIN'?!"

_Oh, nothing. Just trying to get you to admit that I am you._ The double squeezed, causing Kanji to wheeze in pain. _Now, say it._

Kanji glared up at his double, tears threatening to leak out the corner of his eyes. "Fuck you."

The double let go of Kanji and then sent him reeling with a punch to the gut. _Say it. C'mon you punk. Say it!_

Kanji spat into the double's face. "I ain't sayin' nothin' you goddamn freak!"

The double growled and kicked Kanji between the legs, sending him to his knees in a crumpled heap. _Accept me. What the fuck is so hard about accepting me? This is who you are, Kanji. It's who you've always been. You can never live up to what your family wants…to what people expect. You are now, and forever, a fuckin' faggot! So just accept it. Accept that you want to fuck men. Accept that you aren't a real man. And accept me. Because I'm the only one you've even got!_

Kanji could not help the tears that streamed out of his eyes. That bastard had just kicked him in the goddamn balls. And it fucking hurt. And there was no way he was admitting anything. Fucker had pissed him off too much. He was about to say as much when he heard a door swing open.

"There they are!" a female voice exclaimed. Kanji could hear footsteps. He staggered to his feet and looked behind him.

A group of teens had filed into the room. There were two dudes, one with silver hair wielding a fucking katana and another dude with brown hair and giant-ass headphones. Dude had knives too. Then there were two girls. One of 'em had short brown hair and the other…holy shit, was that Yukiko Amagi?! And what the fuck was that thing behind them? Looked like some sort of crazy-ass mascot or something.

Kanji's thoughts were interrupted as the boy with the headphones took a step forward and said his name. Wait a minute…wasn't that boy the asshole who'd been spying on him the other day?

Kanji tried to respond, but all that came out of his mouth was a jumbled garble of what was potentially human speech. "I-I..."

"Oh, come now, enough with the charade." Kanji whirled around. The double had walked over to him and put an arm around his shoulder. Kanji realized that it was the first time that the double had actually spoken out loud. Everything else had been said in his head. That was some fucked up shit.

"Isn't it awful to deceive people? To deceive yourself...? What's so bad about doing what I want to do?" The double brought Kanji's attention back. Shit, was this guy gonna say anything weird in front of these other people?

"That has nothin' to do with it!" Kanji pushed his double away violently.

The double only smirked and walked back over to Kanji. He stood imposingly near him, almost nose to nose. "I'm what you really want, aren't I?"

"Hell no!" Kanji begged his double to stay silent.

_Hmph. Not after all the shit you've given me, my dear Tatsumi._ The voice echoed in his head.

The double then turned to the group who had just entered the room. And made a dramatic gesture. "Ohh, how I hate girls. So arrogant and self-centered! They cry if you get angry, gossip behind your back, they spread nasty lies…They look at me like some... some disgusting THING and say that I'm a weirdo... Laughing at me, all the while!" The double punched the wall angrily then turned back to the group, adopting a high-pitched voice. "'You like to sew? What a queer!' 'Painting is so not you.' 'But you're a guy. You don't act like a guy.' 'Why aren't you manly?'"

The double whirled around to face Kanji. "What does it mean to be 'a guy?' What does it mean to be 'manly?'" The double shuddered. "Girls are so scary."

"I-I ain't scared of 'em!" Kanji stammered the lie.

The double shook its head. "Men are much better. They'd never say those awful, degrading things." It turned to look at the silver-haired boy and the brown-haired boy, grinning wolfishly. "Yes, I vastly prefer men."

The silver-haired boy took a barely noticeable step backwards while the brown-haired boy skittered backwards with an audible whimper.

Kanji turned to his double with an angry growl. "Hell with that! What makes you think you can say that shit with my face!?"

The double looked at Kanji, placing a hand over his heart, as if wounded. "Why, you're me. And I'm you. You do know that, don't you?"

Of course Kanji knew that. But there was no way he was admitting it. Not now. Not when there were other people around. "No... Nuh-uh! No way! There's no way in hell that you're me!"

The double pushed Kanji to the floor and began glowing darkly. It seemed almost as if he was…growing. But that couldn't be…

The double laughed evilly as it began to tower over Kanji, still glowing dark. "You're me, and there's no denying it!"

A cloud of black surrounded the double and Kanji began to feel faint.

"Kanji-kun!" He could hear Yukiko's voice, but it sounded almost as if it came from inside a tin can.

His vision was blurring and his mind was beginning to get fuzzy. The last thing he saw before everything went dark was a gigantic buff dude…with some sort of weird-ass flower.

Kanji had never been so happy to pass the fuck out.


End file.
